Some of my writtens...

Montana Diary · 02-27-2007, 11:40 PM

Don't expect me to be on some Canibus/AZ shit. I just startin' takin' writin' rhymes seriously the beginnin' of '07, so forgive the mediocre lyricism (we all gotta start somewhere, right?). Any and all feedback is much appreciated.

I wrote this 'bout 3 weeks ago.

"Blood rushin thru my head, I'm breakin' the lead
Of the pencil, thinkin of what I said
Say or will say, stray the fuck away from cliches
I'm blamin the way I am on you lames
'This is insane' you will proclaim
the tru saviour of rap risin' up from the flames
Spillin the bills, givin ya chills
Goin' in for the kill, punch ya outcha grill
With my lyrical skill, you want me to chill?
Smother you like butter, dont compare me to another
I'm the mother of the new rap, you new cats just fuckers
I'm not sayin I'm perfect, I'm sayin' I deserve this
How's it feel to get murked on ur own turf bitch?
I got the hunger for more, how can you ignore
The lord of this rap shit leavin opponents sore"

I wrote this when I was really pissed off. It's kinda... all over the place.

"I rip you to pieces and I ain't even started makin' a mess
I clench your head, put it over your chest
While the rest of you rests under the crest of the blessed
I'm messed and not just 'cause your blood is on my breast
'Cause I'm seriously fucked and you're another hit off my list
You really think I'd let you walk, you must be jokin'
I'm [can't read the word] your joints while you chokin'
Your life is postponin' I'm smokin' your bones and your clines up in my blunt
And cummin' on your grave
Buy it's gravy 'cause I just pound down your six lumps, that I gave the last time you came
And by the grace of God, your fame is up in flames
It's a shame, who's to blame for your shameful existence?
They sharin' the same fate after I spend these Benjamins
I'm lendin' these blenders out to offenders to send your body to a sloppy dimossee [made up word lol... supposed to be "demise"]
This is honestly a commodity, I'm bodyin' and sellin' you at the bottom' callin' it neapolitan
Like a wack thug rapper, if my shit ain't sellin
I kill more people and make your kids felons..."

I wrote this today during my lunch period but never finished it. In my humble opinion it's my best shit yet.

"Sometimes I just feel like I'm outta my mind
There's a lotta times I wanna see but I'm blind
Bad times bind my mind till I just can't find
A rhyme that can take the nine away from my spine
State of depression or state of human progression?
A question that's messin' with with my head and I'm guessin'
What I'm stressin' is a lesson, not a curse but a blessin'..."
and I never finished that last line...

Just_Blaze · 02-27-2007, 11:56 PM

your lyrics make me wet. no homo.

Montana Diary · 02-27-2007, 11:58 PM

Umm... should I take that as a compliment?

Just_Blaze · 02-28-2007, 12:05 AM

Take it how you want... i can't dry myself though. It's really uncomfortable. I need to get out of this thread asap.

_|CC|_ · 02-28-2007, 03:30 AM

lmao blaze. . .blaze is really wet because he saw the 06 dunk contest when NATE WON

your lyrics were iight. . .considering you just started they weren't bad at all.. . .pretty good for someone new. . .keep writing

RE: DEFinition · 02-28-2007, 03:57 AM

blaze is a weird dude

p.s. pretty good lyrics, switch up the rhyme schemes more often, stay up

ImmortalTechnique · 02-28-2007, 11:36 AM

work on saying them out loud, too, since it seems like it would be tough to flow some of those lines since your syllables are changing up kind of erraticly

Doc Glokk · 02-28-2007, 07:46 PM

not bad......

Just_Blaze · 03-01-2007, 12:37 AM

lmao. fuck nate.

B Dope · 03-01-2007, 01:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just_Blaze

lmao. fuck nate.

Green>Nate

Deep South Kid · 03-01-2007, 03:02 AM

You might aswel low down on the quantity of all those "I'm...." lines too.

Just_Blaze · 03-01-2007, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baller

Green>Nate

iguodala >> howard>> green>> nate

DJ Shinobi [RA] · 03-01-2007, 10:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just_Blaze

iguodala >> howard>> green>> nate

ima have to agree to a certain point. Howard only got to do like 1 dunk? maybe 2? So i cant really judge between iguodala and howard since howard was jobb'd by michael jordan. How gerald green got a 50 for a dunk ive seen at least a dozen times is beyond me.

P.S. I dont get why Lebron doesnt wanna do a dunk contest because he says he's not creative enough. Gerald Green, Nate, etc. aren't really creative at all yet they win.

Just_Blaze · 03-01-2007, 09:24 PM

^it's pathetic.

KING BHOB · 03-02-2007, 01:02 AM

yall(people who are typing/audio'n rhymes/making beats) need to go to the MC Section......

bayAreaSLAP · 03-02-2007, 01:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just_Blaze

iguodala >> howard>> green>> nate

They should have included iguodala in the competition .. this was one of the most disappointing dunk contests in awhile.

Just_Blaze · 03-02-2007, 01:39 AM

iggy didn't wnan go cause korver wasn't invited to the 3 pt comp. ( or the other way around) well that's my theory

Scottie · 03-03-2007, 10:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just_Blaze

iggy didn't wnan go cause korver wasn't invited to the 3 pt comp. ( or the other way around) well that's my theory

I don't think he wanted to go in, because he was robbed last year and is still kinda angry about it.

02-27-2007, 11:40 PM	#1
Montana Diary Veteran Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Brampton, ON, Canada Posts: 2,845 Repped: 173 Repped 2,242 Times in 307 Posts Neg Reps: 1 Neg Repped at 1 Time in 1 Post	Some of my writtens... Some of my writtens... Don't expect me to be on some Canibus/AZ shit. I just startin' takin' writin' rhymes seriously the beginnin' of '07, so forgive the mediocre lyricism (we all gotta start somewhere, right?). Any and all feedback is much appreciated. I wrote this 'bout 3 weeks ago. "Blood rushin thru my head, I'm breakin' the lead Of the pencil, thinkin of what I said Say or will say, stray the fuck away from cliches I'm blamin the way I am on you lames 'This is insane' you will proclaim the tru saviour of rap risin' up from the flames Spillin the bills, givin ya chills Goin' in for the kill, punch ya outcha grill With my lyrical skill, you want me to chill? Smother you like butter, dont compare me to another I'm the mother of the new rap, you new cats just fuckers I'm not sayin I'm perfect, I'm sayin' I deserve this How's it feel to get murked on ur own turf bitch? I got the hunger for more, how can you ignore The lord of this rap shit leavin opponents sore" I wrote this when I was really pissed off. It's kinda... all over the place. "I rip you to pieces and I ain't even started makin' a mess I clench your head, put it over your chest While the rest of you rests under the crest of the blessed I'm messed and not just 'cause your blood is on my breast 'Cause I'm seriously fucked and you're another hit off my list You really think I'd let you walk, you must be jokin' I'm [can't read the word] your joints while you chokin' Your life is postponin' I'm smokin' your bones and your clines up in my blunt And cummin' on your grave Buy it's gravy 'cause I just pound down your six lumps, that I gave the last time you came And by the grace of God, your fame is up in flames It's a shame, who's to blame for your shameful existence? They sharin' the same fate after I spend these Benjamins I'm lendin' these blenders out to offenders to send your body to a sloppy dimossee [made up word lol... supposed to be "demise"] This is honestly a commodity, I'm bodyin' and sellin' you at the bottom' callin' it neapolitan Like a wack thug rapper, if my shit ain't sellin I kill more people and make your kids felons..." I wrote this today during my lunch period but never finished it. In my humble opinion it's my best shit yet. "Sometimes I just feel like I'm outta my mind There's a lotta times I wanna see but I'm blind Bad times bind my mind till I just can't find A rhyme that can take the nine away from my spine State of depression or state of human progression? A question that's messin' with with my head and I'm guessin' What I'm stressin' is a lesson, not a curse but a blessin'..." and I never finished that last line...

02-27-2007, 11:56 PM	#2
Just_Blaze Thread Jacker Numero Uno! Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Nu Jers.. It's that on top muzik! Posts: 3,641 Repped: 131 Repped 146 Times in 103 Posts Neg Reps: 11 Neg Repped at 4 Times in 4 Posts	your lyrics make me wet. no homo. __________________ "tell blaze to stop it wit the embarassing posts.....he's making everything die" - Grandmaster G

02-28-2007, 12:05 AM	#4
Just_Blaze Thread Jacker Numero Uno! Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Nu Jers.. It's that on top muzik! Posts: 3,641 Repped: 131 Repped 146 Times in 103 Posts Neg Reps: 11 Neg Repped at 4 Times in 4 Posts	Take it how you want... i can't dry myself though. It's really uncomfortable. I need to get out of this thread asap. __________________ "tell blaze to stop it wit the embarassing posts.....he's making everything die" - Grandmaster G

02-28-2007, 07:46 PM	#8
Doc Glokk Tha Doctor Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 1,438 Repped: 51 Repped 15 Times in 10 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	not bad...... __________________ PeAcE tO tHe StReEtS

03-01-2007, 12:37 AM	#9
Just_Blaze Thread Jacker Numero Uno! Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Nu Jers.. It's that on top muzik! Posts: 3,641 Repped: 131 Repped 146 Times in 103 Posts Neg Reps: 11 Neg Repped at 4 Times in 4 Posts	lmao. fuck nate. __________________ "tell blaze to stop it wit the embarassing posts.....he's making everything die" - Grandmaster G

02-27-2007, 11:58 PM	#3
Montana Diary Veteran Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Brampton, ON, Canada Posts: 2,845 Repped: 173 Repped 2,242 Times in 307 Posts Neg Reps: 1 Neg Repped at 1 Time in 1 Post	Umm... should I take that as a compliment?

02-28-2007, 03:30 AM	#5
_\|CC\|_ Banned Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 54 Repped: 4 Repped 1 Time in 1 Post Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	lmao blaze. . .blaze is really wet because he saw the 06 dunk contest when NATE WON your lyrics were iight. . .considering you just started they weren't bad at all.. . .pretty good for someone new. . .keep writing

02-28-2007, 03:57 AM	#6
RE: DEFinition Banned Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Earth, UNI Posts: 68 Repped: 23 Repped 1 Time in 1 Post Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	blaze is a weird dude p.s. pretty good lyrics, switch up the rhyme schemes more often, stay up

02-28-2007, 11:36 AM	#7
ImmortalTechnique OPEN WIDE! Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Brew City, Milwaukee Posts: 3,042 Repped: 189 Repped 845 Times in 371 Posts Neg Reps: 7 Neg Repped at 235 Times in 142 Posts	work on saying them out loud, too, since it seems like it would be tough to flow some of those lines since your syllables are changing up kind of erraticly

03-01-2007, 03:02 AM	#11
Deep South Kid UnderGround UnderPressure Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Mexico City Posts: 6,176 Repped: 17 Repped 446 Times in 138 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	You might aswel low down on the quantity of all those "I'm...." lines too.

03-01-2007, 09:24 PM	#14
Just_Blaze Thread Jacker Numero Uno! Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Nu Jers.. It's that on top muzik! Posts: 3,641 Repped: 131 Repped 146 Times in 103 Posts Neg Reps: 11 Neg Repped at 4 Times in 4 Posts	^it's pathetic. __________________ "tell blaze to stop it wit the embarassing posts.....he's making everything die" - Grandmaster G

03-02-2007, 01:02 AM	#15
KING BHOB P.O.L.O/Attention:Deficit Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: East Side Pennsylvania Posts: 2,189 Repped: 0 Repped 590 Times in 201 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 25 Times in 20 Posts	yall(people who are typing/audio'n rhymes/making beats) need to go to the MC Section...... __________________ >\|>\|>\|> http://twitter.com/KingBhob <\|<\|<\|< >>>>>>>LIFE

03-02-2007, 01:39 AM	#17
Just_Blaze Thread Jacker Numero Uno! Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Nu Jers.. It's that on top muzik! Posts: 3,641 Repped: 131 Repped 146 Times in 103 Posts Neg Reps: 11 Neg Repped at 4 Times in 4 Posts	iggy didn't wnan go cause korver wasn't invited to the 3 pt comp. ( or the other way around) well that's my theory __________________ "tell blaze to stop it wit the embarassing posts.....he's making everything die" - Grandmaster G

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