Better Verse?

JR-One · 03-05-2009, 10:08 PM

Which one of these verses is better?

VERSE A:
The difference? It's obvious
There's no way they be stoppin this
I'm Superman, they're citizens of Metropolis
This ain't Jenga, don't even try to topple this
My flow is noxious bitch, theirs are the opposite
but these kids still tryin nonetheless
I thought Anomaly was lookin for just the best
not lil boys rappin bout guns n techs
I'll leave these punks upset, fuck the rest
They can't win, they're the least deservin'
I carry tracks like a beast of burden
I drop hotter flows than when feces burnin'
Not my fault I write rhymes with decent wording
I spit punches so cold my teeth are hurtin
i end careers when i release the curtains
i'm mature and i keep it free of cursin
i know kids are listenin and emcees are learnin
if you battle me, it's like the grim reaper's lurkin
so Anomaly, you don't need to keep on searchin
you've found your winner, it's not predetermined
but i know for a fact, it's me for certain

VERSE B:
You gotta be cool / You gotta stay in school
You gotta write dope flows / Keep the dope out your nose
Gotta wear fly clothes / Gotta be fly to hoes
Gotta do all this to fit in / I suppose
I don't really wanna / Cuz I'm not a stunna
I'm just a little poet writing poems not for plunder
And those I got a ton of / But I gotta wonder
I thought for a second that this was the under
Grouded / Born an out of town kid
Hip hop's been lost / Someone thinks they've found it
In gold chains and cool rap names
Breakdancing fame and whole car trains
I think thats lame/ Cuz its all the same
Just be yourself man / Whats with all the playin?
Don't know what I'm saying? / You don't wanna change?
Why do you think they say it all sounds the same?

Be honest HHB, you tell me. Which Verse is better?

HJones · 03-05-2009, 10:10 PM

first .

Da Dynasty · 03-05-2009, 10:12 PM

The First One Go Hard

C Gilbert · 03-05-2009, 10:18 PM

First one for sure

-LLoyd- · 03-05-2009, 10:19 PM

the first one for sure the second one is ass

LaWN NAiL · 03-05-2009, 10:23 PM

The difference? It's obvious
There's no way they be stoppin this
I'm Superman, they're citizens of Metropolis

this won it already

Killuminati · 03-05-2009, 10:24 PM

I like the first better

the second was straight...but it was too many simple rhyme patterns. You seemed to be going somewhere with it but never got there. There were no punches...no wordplay. It kinda seemed as if you just wrote the first things that came to mind. It was a good flow, for what it's worth...

The first verse has got multis and punches...but some of the punches are a bit forced...the jenga one would have been better if you had switched it around...it flowed fairly well, even though it also seemed like you wrote this fairly quickly. But I thought it was still very solid. and i can see how easily this would transition onto an audio track.

All in all, the first verse...easy.

Blizzy · 03-06-2009, 12:06 PM

1st one was alot tighter....

KING BHOB · 03-06-2009, 09:55 PM

Just Posting Here To Be An Asshole.....I Didnt Read Any Verses At All.

Baller · 03-06-2009, 11:17 PM

first one fa sho....neither impressed me too much

C@$H17 · 03-08-2009, 06:51 AM

1st verse...........

Shogun · 03-09-2009, 05:03 PM

Both disgustingly poor.

I'm aware this is for audio but you're equally aware that these barely qualify as verses.

Da_Hook · 03-09-2009, 08:18 PM

Da First 1...

KING BHOB · 03-09-2009, 09:07 PM

still being an asshole............

Tom Chambers · 03-09-2009, 10:39 PM

*joins bhob in being an asshole*

~Menace~ · 03-13-2009, 03:32 AM

the dream? =/

NJ Villain · 03-14-2009, 02:02 AM

Verse A........no offence verse B was a little....ehhh...

P.S- Good to see your still here JR, Baller(remember me King prey/Di$r3sp3(T from wayyyy back), and menace

Di$R3$p3(T · 03-14-2009, 02:30 AM

VerSe A is Better Homie..Good to see your still on here JR.

A Capella · 05-01-2009, 09:57 PM

Alex WTF you doing on this site nigga!

memories.

Young Mic · 05-05-2009, 01:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Killuminati

I like the first better

the second was straight...but it was too many simple rhyme patterns. You seemed to be going somewhere with it but never got there. There were no punches...no wordplay. It kinda seemed as if you just wrote the first things that came to mind. It was a good flow, for what it's worth...

The first verse has got multis and punches...but some of the punches are a bit forced...the jenga one would have been better if you had switched it around...it flowed fairly well, even though it also seemed like you wrote this fairly quickly. But I thought it was still very solid. and i can see how easily this would transition onto an audio track.

All in all, the first verse...easy.

Co-Sign...

03-05-2009, 10:08 PM	#1
JR-One Veteran Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Van-Kool-Vurr Posts: 1,021 Repped: 19 Repped 52 Times in 20 Posts Neg Reps: 1 Neg Repped at 1 Time in 1 Post	Better Verse? Better Verse? Which one of these verses is better? VERSE A: The difference? It's obvious There's no way they be stoppin this I'm Superman, they're citizens of Metropolis This ain't Jenga, don't even try to topple this My flow is noxious bitch, theirs are the opposite but these kids still tryin nonetheless I thought Anomaly was lookin for just the best not lil boys rappin bout guns n techs I'll leave these punks upset, fuck the rest They can't win, they're the least deservin' I carry tracks like a beast of burden I drop hotter flows than when feces burnin' Not my fault I write rhymes with decent wording I spit punches so cold my teeth are hurtin i end careers when i release the curtains i'm mature and i keep it free of cursin i know kids are listenin and emcees are learnin if you battle me, it's like the grim reaper's lurkin so Anomaly, you don't need to keep on searchin you've found your winner, it's not predetermined but i know for a fact, it's me for certain VERSE B: You gotta be cool / You gotta stay in school You gotta write dope flows / Keep the dope out your nose Gotta wear fly clothes / Gotta be fly to hoes Gotta do all this to fit in / I suppose I don't really wanna / Cuz I'm not a stunna I'm just a little poet writing poems not for plunder And those I got a ton of / But I gotta wonder I thought for a second that this was the under Grouded / Born an out of town kid Hip hop's been lost / Someone thinks they've found it In gold chains and cool rap names Breakdancing fame and whole car trains I think thats lame/ Cuz its all the same Just be yourself man / Whats with all the playin? Don't know what I'm saying? / You don't wanna change? Why do you think they say it all sounds the same? Be honest HHB, you tell me. Which Verse is better? __________________ Cheers To Pacman23.. ..

03-05-2009, 10:12 PM	#3
Da Dynasty Stop Learned Helplessness Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Mississippi Posts: 11,933 Repped: 6,016 Repped 1,248 Times in 441 Posts Neg Reps: 53 Neg Repped at 36 Times in 31 Posts	The First One Go Hard __________________

03-05-2009, 10:18 PM	#4
C Gilbert †ĸªy¤Ħ§! Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Michigan Posts: 1,214 Repped: 69 Repped 57 Times in 37 Posts Neg Reps: 1 Neg Repped at 1 Time in 1 Post	First one for sure __________________

03-05-2009, 10:24 PM	#7
Killuminati ..........FUHCKA......... Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: You Know What It Is... Posts: 3,502 Repped: 167 Repped 133 Times in 68 Posts Neg Reps: 5 Neg Repped at 16 Times in 10 Posts	I like the first better the second was straight...but it was too many simple rhyme patterns. You seemed to be going somewhere with it but never got there. There were no punches...no wordplay. It kinda seemed as if you just wrote the first things that came to mind. It was a good flow, for what it's worth... The first verse has got multis and punches...but some of the punches are a bit forced...the jenga one would have been better if you had switched it around...it flowed fairly well, even though it also seemed like you wrote this fairly quickly. But I thought it was still very solid. and i can see how easily this would transition onto an audio track. All in all, the first verse...easy. __________________

03-06-2009, 12:06 PM	#8
Blizzy Wordsmith Join Date: May 2008 Location: In Battlefield's Posts: 3,338 Repped: 680 Repped 343 Times in 156 Posts Neg Reps: 24 Neg Repped at 25 Times in 24 Posts	1st one was alot tighter.... __________________ MY MUSIC CHECK IT OUT myspace.com/ttpbloodshot

03-05-2009, 10:10 PM	#2
HJones Veteran Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Mars Posts: 2,977 Repped: 1,032 Repped 823 Times in 371 Posts Neg Reps: 412 Neg Repped at 329 Times in 269 Posts	first .

03-05-2009, 10:19 PM	#5
-LLoyd- Veteran Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Canada Posts: 1,580 Repped: 0 Repped 5 Times in 3 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	the first one for sure the second one is ass

03-05-2009, 10:23 PM	#6
LaWN NAiL Lonnel Join Date: May 2006 Location: chicago Posts: 3,199 Repped: 190 Repped 352 Times in 108 Posts Neg Reps: 16 Neg Repped at 85 Times in 33 Posts	The difference? It's obvious There's no way they be stoppin this I'm Superman, they're citizens of Metropolis this won it already

03-06-2009, 09:55 PM	#9
KING BHOB P.O.L.O/Attention:Deficit Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: East Side Pennsylvania Posts: 2,185 Repped: 0 Repped 590 Times in 201 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 25 Times in 20 Posts	Just Posting Here To Be An Asshole.....I Didnt Read Any Verses At All. __________________ >\|>\|>\|> http://twitter.com/KingBhob <\|<\|<\|< >>>>>>>LIFE

03-06-2009, 11:17 PM	#10
Baller Vulture Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: NM Posts: 3,039 Repped: 105 Repped 232 Times in 138 Posts Neg Reps: 67 Neg Repped at 57 Times in 38 Posts	first one fa sho....neither impressed me too much

03-08-2009, 06:51 AM	#11
C@$H17 C@$h Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 5,256 Repped: 3,767 Repped 1,419 Times in 216 Posts Neg Reps: 53 Neg Repped at 9 Times in 8 Posts	1st verse........... __________________

03-09-2009, 05:03 PM	#12
Shogun Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 718 Repped: 0 Repped 13 Times in 12 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 4 Times in 4 Posts	Both disgustingly poor. I'm aware this is for audio but you're equally aware that these barely qualify as verses.

03-09-2009, 08:18 PM	#13
Da_Hook Da Hook Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: San Diego Posts: 8,498 Repped: 79 Repped 16 Times in 3 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 2 Times in 2 Posts	Da First 1... __________________

03-09-2009, 09:07 PM	#14
KING BHOB P.O.L.O/Attention:Deficit Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: East Side Pennsylvania Posts: 2,185 Repped: 0 Repped 590 Times in 201 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 25 Times in 20 Posts	still being an asshole............ __________________ >\|>\|>\|> http://twitter.com/KingBhob <\|<\|<\|< >>>>>>>LIFE

03-09-2009, 10:39 PM	#15
Tom Chambers AkA Sur-Vis-U-All Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: pittsburgh Posts: 11,274 Repped: 132 Repped 477 Times in 296 Posts Neg Reps: 19 Neg Repped at 66 Times in 53 Posts	joins bhob in being an asshole

03-13-2009, 03:32 AM	#16
~Menace~ Lonnel- Virgin Join Date: May 2006 Location: AZ ho Posts: 1,753 Repped: 116 Repped 38 Times in 16 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	the dream? =/ __________________ William Shaftner

03-14-2009, 02:02 AM	#17
NJ Villain Join Date: May 2008 Location: NJ Posts: 13 Repped: 0 Repped 1 Time in 1 Post Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	Verse A........no offence verse B was a little....ehhh... P.S- Good to see your still here JR, Baller(remember me King prey/Di$r3sp3(T from wayyyy back), and menace

03-14-2009, 02:30 AM	#18
Di$R3$p3(T [[HearT oF A ChampioN]] Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: NeW JeRseY Posts: 1,046 Repped: 17 Repped 15 Times in 10 Posts Neg Reps: 6 Neg Repped at 1 Time in 1 Post	VerSe A is Better Homie..Good to see your still on here JR. __________________ "BacKk oN ThA BeAsT ModE" [OvErALL RecOrd]-[WiNz:"73" SliiP uHpz:"9"]

05-01-2009, 09:57 PM	#19
A Capella Ronaldo Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Robson Street, Vancouver BC Posts: 160 Repped: 12 Repped 1 Time in 1 Post Neg Reps: 1 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	Alex WTF you doing on this site nigga! memories. __________________ Bitch i'm the bomb like tick.......tick

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