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02-18-2009, 03:32 PM
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#1 |
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Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Lincoln
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Tell us what you think of this 16 please
Yo, i'ma 15 year old UK rapper. This is a verse about how rappers/rap fans are always like persecuted before people get to know em!
Would appreciate some feedback. Constructive criticism ESPECIALLY! altho if u like it i'd be grateful to hear it as well: I rap but what types of venue am I supposed to play? Are they in areas where most kids go astray? Only government officials seem to know their name They make money off a sound-alike of novocaine Is this what hip hop kids are meant to do? Hip hoppers really do it, they don’t pretend to use To prove the reports wrong mate I entered you Yes you the listener, what’s up? I defended you! What do you mean that all that’s true? The drugs, the guns? All that to? Take Westwoods advice and fall back dude I ain’t helping you no more, you call that truth? You lied, you cheated, that’s why we’ve got this reputation Concentrate on getting jobs not on getting Dayton’s Don’t think you can brush it off, I want an explanation! No more help from me, worse off than second placing Nice one
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Links you need to checkout: myspace.com/precinctphantom myspace.com/grandangel510 myspace.com/macwasey |
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02-23-2009, 03:13 PM
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#2 |
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 129
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Im also just starting to write lyrics, and this is pretty good, Good vocab.
only thing i would suggest is keep the bars rhyming to 2-3 bars keep em short and strong otherwise it all sounds the same. peace |
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| The Following User Repped to Jmingledude For This Useful Post: | Precinct Phantom (03-03-2009) |
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02-23-2009, 07:37 PM
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#3 |
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P.O.L.O/Attention:Deficit
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: East Side Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,189
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Tell US?
hmmmmmmmmmmmm Scones,Jam And Clotted Cream thats an awesome title for a mixtape tho
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>|>|>|> http://twitter.com/KingBhob <|<|<|<  >>>>>>>LIFE
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| The Following User Repped to KING BHOB For This Useful Post: | Precinct Phantom (03-03-2009) |
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03-03-2009, 02:10 PM
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#4 |
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Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Lincoln
Posts: 1,229
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lol, its my album title.
Taking the piss outta all the 'Blood, Sweat & Tears' gangsta imagery of rap if u get me
__________________
Links you need to checkout: myspace.com/precinctphantom myspace.com/grandangel510 myspace.com/macwasey |
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03-14-2009, 02:33 AM
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#5 |
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*[[HearT oF A ChampioN]]*
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: NeW JeRseY
Posts: 1,049
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..This is What the Freestyle section is for....
Butt....good flow, i really like the use of words. pretty nice 16. good for a 15 year old...im 15 too... uuummm..stay at it. 8.5/10
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"BacKk oN ThA BeAsT ModE" [OvErALL RecOrd]-[WiNz:"73" SliiP uHpz:"9"] |
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| The Following User Repped to Di$R3$p3(T For This Useful Post: | Precinct Phantom (03-22-2009) |
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