Go Back   Hip Hop Board > Rhymes > Freestyles
ATI''s Quick 17 Bars v. 2>>Comments>>On Some Consious Ish ATI''s Quick 17 Bars v. 2>>Comments>>On Some Consious Ish
Connect with Facebook
Register Blogs FAQ Members List CHATBOX Facebook Mark Forums Read

Freestyles Spit some hot flows in here...show all the other members what you are made of!


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-08-2006, 06:06 PM   #1
Agitating the Ignorant
 
A.T.I.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 7,600
Repped: 1,376
Repped 2,043 Times in 719 Posts
Neg Reps: 155
Neg Repped at 162 Times in 129 Posts
A.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swagger
Arrow ATI''s Quick 17 Bars v. 2>>Comments>>On Some Consious Ish
ATI''s Quick 17 Bars v. 2>>Comments>>On Some Consious Ish

Dont feel like posting this in mc section, not enough feedback, so this is just my second attempt at writing a rap verse. This time around, I tried to make it structured a bit more like a rap verse than a poem. Again, the complexity of the rhyme scheme is scarificed a little bit to make the overall concept clear and original.

P.S. Added two new verses to craft an entire song except for the hook

Here Goes (No hate, but feel free to leave const. criticism or applaud)

New World

check it, picture your life in another place
eyes opened, your in a middle of a chase
Rwnada, homie, u in the middle of hell
citizens killed and locked in cells
its hard to imagine such a place on earth,
it hurts,
now your calculating your life's worth, its worse
no escaping tha land filled of misery and famine
helping these people, thats what bush aint havin
cause they aint got the black that he want, just a culture
oil found elsewhere and he there like a vulture
u realise you dazed off in class, u amazed and changed
across the earth in a second, this shit seems strange
forgotten in a matter of moments, u keep it real
or just another way for us to shield the way we feel
no need to spit fire in the flames, cool to ice cold
because beyond you it don't matter, thats what youve been told

we know about pluto like we know the middle east
its sad, so when i rhyme, i have the hunger of a beast
feastin on these wack rappers like a feast in the heat
these lame actors gettin throwed overboard by they own fleet
so lets think for ourselves, speak out on some issues
how bout disease thats eatin threw human cartilage and tissue
don't sell yourself short, you an intelligent dude
so when someone tells you otherwise, don't get your ass sued
with ignorance, we know its running thick in the air
like a heavy mist making it hard to stare
at the clear picture, false media everywhere,
where to look now,
an international expedition, thats what I'll allow
to change your outlook on life, stiflin what it could do
come back a change person, they'll think u someone new
why try when nobody cares, try doin it for you
cause if this culture changed you, it changed me too

me and you both think i'm conscious, lets uncover the truth
so the biased is formulated when i step in the booth
finally a rapper whos gunna speak about life
no story's bout fistfights, guns, hoes and knifes
just an honest day's dealings, straight documentary
this is from the heart, so u gettin my personality
lyrics that can be trusted have to be serached for worldwide
because the dozen songs that have em are all by my side
fillin my mind with storys and teachings, the is real hiphop
so its no surprise that the same album can be a classic and a flop
the worse u is, the better u is, its almost ironic
but once i drop, my sounds gunna hit, its supersonic
airwaves comin from all sides, jabbin the heart and the mind
feels like a boxer taking cuts at your uttermost inside
youre hooked now theyres no goin back, this is the new world
whats gunna happen next, wait, it'll all untwirl
__________________

“At a snail's pace, I won this race that y'all trail"
A.T.I. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-08-2006, 06:09 PM   #2
Senior Member
 
$outh $ouljah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Moss-Side ©
Posts: 511
Repped: 0
Repped 11 Times in 10 Posts
Neg Reps: 0
Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts
$outh $ouljah $outh $ouljah $outh $ouljah $outh $ouljah $outh $ouljah $outh $ouljah $outh $ouljah $outh $ouljah $outh $ouljah $outh $ouljah $outh $ouljah
Default
only read first verse.. was gd ^^ take it the other verses will b as gd.. just not a fan of long arse text readin :)
$outh $ouljah is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-08-2006, 06:12 PM   #3
Agitating the Ignorant
 
A.T.I.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 7,600
Repped: 1,376
Repped 2,043 Times in 719 Posts
Neg Reps: 155
Neg Repped at 162 Times in 129 Posts
A.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swagger
Default
^^lol aight, thanks
__________________

“At a snail's pace, I won this race that y'all trail"
A.T.I. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-08-2006, 06:17 PM   #4
Senior Member
 
$outh $ouljah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Moss-Side ©
Posts: 511
Repped: 0
Repped 11 Times in 10 Posts
Neg Reps: 0
Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts
$outh $ouljah $outh $ouljah $outh $ouljah $outh $ouljah $outh $ouljah $outh $ouljah $outh $ouljah $outh $ouljah $outh $ouljah $outh $ouljah $outh $ouljah
Default
made maself read tha other 2 naw lol.. they r as gd so.. upppppppp ^^

nd can ya give me sum feed on mine ^^
$outh $ouljah is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-09-2006, 03:31 PM   #5
Agitating the Ignorant
 
A.T.I.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 7,600
Repped: 1,376
Repped 2,043 Times in 719 Posts
Neg Reps: 155
Neg Repped at 162 Times in 129 Posts
A.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swagger
Default
^^aight, will do
__________________

“At a snail's pace, I won this race that y'all trail"
A.T.I. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-09-2006, 03:49 PM   #6
Banned
 
[CC]Ratify[CC]'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Where It Started At. . .[NY]
Posts: 8,373
Repped: 353
Repped 610 Times in 235 Posts
Neg Reps: 0
Neg Repped at 5 Times in 5 Posts
[CC]Ratify[CC] is a motherfuckin boss ya heard[CC]Ratify[CC] is a motherfuckin boss ya heard[CC]Ratify[CC] is a motherfuckin boss ya heard[CC]Ratify[CC] is a motherfuckin boss ya heard[CC]Ratify[CC] is a motherfuckin boss ya heard[CC]Ratify[CC] is a motherfuckin boss ya heard[CC]Ratify[CC] is a motherfuckin boss ya heard[CC]Ratify[CC] is a motherfuckin boss ya heard[CC]Ratify[CC] is a motherfuckin boss ya heard[CC]Ratify[CC] is a motherfuckin boss ya heard[CC]Ratify[CC] is a motherfuckin boss ya heard
Default
yo im really feelin these...felt like real hip hop....keep doin it fam
[CC]Ratify[CC] is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-09-2006, 04:08 PM   #7
Agitating the Ignorant
 
A.T.I.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 7,600
Repped: 1,376
Repped 2,043 Times in 719 Posts
Neg Reps: 155
Neg Repped at 162 Times in 129 Posts
A.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swagger
Default
^^thanks for that man
__________________

“At a snail's pace, I won this race that y'all trail"
A.T.I. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-09-2006, 05:05 PM   #8
Banned
 
[CC]Ratify[CC]'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Where It Started At. . .[NY]
Posts: 8,373
Repped: 353
Repped 610 Times in 235 Posts
Neg Reps: 0
Neg Repped at 5 Times in 5 Posts
[CC]Ratify[CC] is a motherfuckin boss ya heard[CC]Ratify[CC] is a motherfuckin boss ya heard[CC]Ratify[CC] is a motherfuckin boss ya heard[CC]Ratify[CC] is a motherfuckin boss ya heard[CC]Ratify[CC] is a motherfuckin boss ya heard[CC]Ratify[CC] is a motherfuckin boss ya heard[CC]Ratify[CC] is a motherfuckin boss ya heard[CC]Ratify[CC] is a motherfuckin boss ya heard[CC]Ratify[CC] is a motherfuckin boss ya heard[CC]Ratify[CC] is a motherfuckin boss ya heard[CC]Ratify[CC] is a motherfuckin boss ya heard
Default
damn yo i read that for like the fifth time now...it gets better and better...i reppe u for that shit...shits crazy
[CC]Ratify[CC] is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-09-2006, 09:21 PM   #9
Agitating the Ignorant
 
A.T.I.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 7,600
Repped: 1,376
Repped 2,043 Times in 719 Posts
Neg Reps: 155
Neg Repped at 162 Times in 129 Posts
A.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swagger
Default
^^big props man, spread the word, people in the chat section werent really feelin it
__________________

“At a snail's pace, I won this race that y'all trail"
A.T.I. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-09-2006, 09:23 PM   #10
Veteran
 
Yung_blaze's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: LONDON
Posts: 5,070
Repped: 1,197
Repped 146 Times in 63 Posts
Neg Reps: 7
Neg Repped at 5 Times in 4 Posts
Yung_blaze very powerful and known so dont fuck with him assholeYung_blaze very powerful and known so dont fuck with him assholeYung_blaze very powerful and known so dont fuck with him assholeYung_blaze very powerful and known so dont fuck with him assholeYung_blaze very powerful and known so dont fuck with him assholeYung_blaze very powerful and known so dont fuck with him assholeYung_blaze very powerful and known so dont fuck with him assholeYung_blaze very powerful and known so dont fuck with him assholeYung_blaze very powerful and known so dont fuck with him asshole
Default
shit dat shit is tight
Yung_blaze is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2006, 01:59 AM   #11
Agitating the Ignorant
 
A.T.I.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 7,600
Repped: 1,376
Repped 2,043 Times in 719 Posts
Neg Reps: 155
Neg Repped at 162 Times in 129 Posts
A.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swagger
Default
^^thanks...........
__________________

“At a snail's pace, I won this race that y'all trail"
A.T.I. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2006, 04:40 PM   #12
Agitating the Ignorant
 
A.T.I.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 7,600
Repped: 1,376
Repped 2,043 Times in 719 Posts
Neg Reps: 155
Neg Repped at 162 Times in 129 Posts
A.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swaggerA.T.I. has untouchable platinum swagger
Default
bump..........
__________________

“At a snail's pace, I won this race that y'all trail"
A.T.I. is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Lower Navigation
Go Back   Hip Hop Board > Rhymes > Freestyles
ATI''s Quick 17 Bars v. 2>>Comments>>On Some Consious Ish ATI''s Quick 17 Bars v. 2>>Comments>>On Some Consious Ish

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »
Thread Tools
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:25 PM.

HHBoard - Archive - Top

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.3.0