tell me what ya think ive only been seriously rappin for 2 weeks

ShawnDaDon · 07-22-2009, 03:28 AM

when i trip i pull da mac out
i dont pull to show i pull to clap out
im for real we can go da gat route
i keep da 45s at grandma house
i dont play
da k gon spray
layin suckas in da street evry day
got my hand on my dick bu i aint gay
run ya mouf itll lead to gunplay
so say what you say
but da ground where u gon lay
when it comes to spitiin im so nice
i see ya flossin ima take ya ice
better yet ill take ya lfe
fuck ya wife
trust me boy i got da gun tucked tonite

CriminalThoughtz · 07-22-2009, 10:57 AM

my opinion is a nice flow..but if u throw in some more punchlines and add some more wordplay iinto the mix..it will definately be better.

ShawnDaDon · 07-22-2009, 11:00 AM

yea i see what u sayin dawg

DXavier23 · 07-22-2009, 11:52 AM

its way too basic to be taken seriously. You sound like your trying to emulate 50, which isn't a good idea when your tryna write something dope. Keep at it tho

ShawnDaDon · 07-22-2009, 12:07 PM

real talk i feel ya

07-22-2009, 03:28 AM	#1
ShawnDaDon Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Houston Tx Posts: 560 Repped: 78 Repped 87 Times in 67 Posts Neg Reps: 19 Neg Repped at 10 Times in 9 Posts	tell me what ya think ive only been seriously rappin for 2 weeks tell me what ya think ive only been seriously rappin for 2 weeks when i trip i pull da mac out i dont pull to show i pull to clap out im for real we can go da gat route i keep da 45s at grandma house i dont play da k gon spray layin suckas in da street evry day got my hand on my dick bu i aint gay run ya mouf itll lead to gunplay so say what you say but da ground where u gon lay when it comes to spitiin im so nice i see ya flossin ima take ya ice better yet ill take ya lfe fuck ya wife trust me boy i got da gun tucked tonite

07-22-2009, 11:52 AM	#4
DXavier23 ----------DX------------- Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: NYC Posts: 1,765 Repped: 192 Repped 1,682 Times in 143 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 10 Times in 1 Post	its way too basic to be taken seriously. You sound like your trying to emulate 50, which isn't a good idea when your tryna write something dope. Keep at it tho __________________ So save me your sorrys I'm raisin a Army Revolutionary warfare with Damian Marley We sparkin da irons marchin to Zion You know how Nas be NYC state of mind I'm in

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07-22-2009, 10:57 AM	#2
CriminalThoughtz Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: miami florida Posts: 294 Repped: 51 Repped 31 Times in 27 Posts Neg Reps: 1 Neg Repped at 9 Times in 9 Posts	my opinion is a nice flow..but if u throw in some more punchlines and add some more wordplay iinto the mix..it will definately be better.

07-22-2009, 11:00 AM	#3
ShawnDaDon Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Houston Tx Posts: 560 Repped: 78 Repped 87 Times in 67 Posts Neg Reps: 19 Neg Repped at 10 Times in 9 Posts	yea i see what u sayin dawg

07-22-2009, 12:07 PM	#5
ShawnDaDon Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Houston Tx Posts: 560 Repped: 78 Repped 87 Times in 67 Posts Neg Reps: 19 Neg Repped at 10 Times in 9 Posts	real talk i feel ya