[V] Withered Willow- A Story of Conscience - [V]

ThA ViiRu5 · 06-28-2009, 08:36 PM

I sat down to write this with a smile. I haven't written anything like it in awhile. For better or for worse; for gift, or for curse- it's long but i pray you read it through. So here it is for you, no further ado..

I lay my head down on a pillow that feels more like rugged rock
But I wonder not of the day my blood'll clot
or my lungs'll stop..nicotine eating them away
a habit started long ago, my heart's beating in decay
I'm seeing things are grey and not as black and white
But to this day I hate the n i g g e r s..its still as black and white
I had to fight..a victim of propaganda, their plan and the ploy
Short, tall, fat, fit..immaterial if you were a man or a boy
And i was the latter, scared..shipped to training, my thoughts were scattered
Bare..the barracks where I didn't belong, confidence shattered
Where I'd awaken daily 6 hrs be4 my girlfriend's clock would ring
What did I know of military policy? Not a thing..
I would often stop to think that i wouldn't be strong enough
The days were long as fuck, my comrades combat ready..me not as much
I prayed to God that what lay before me would not make me sorry
that I wouldnt be deployed in time, escape the fate of Jason Voorhees
But my fate's a story that's essential to history books
That i read today and see nothing of how history looks
January 2nd, 1951...I stepped off the edge of the plane
My fingers slipped on the ripcord, I can't see myself in the rain
I pull hard and hear a chorus of my fellows opening chutes
My morale broken and bruised, blind..who had chosen the route?
I almost break my ankles as my feet hit the earth
I stumble and fall, my first taste of Korea's the dirt
We started moving forward ready for our dying day
We grumbled of higher pay..marching with our rifles raised
We came across a deserted camp and breathed sighs of relief
Until I noticed something lurking just out of sight in the trees
My heart's jumpy, my slick fingers on the Garand itching for blood
SUDDEN MOVEMENT!
..I'll never forget the face of the child hitting the mud
That's how shitty it was..and in the days to come i'd raise my gun
Countless other times, pain ive never felt.. in more ways than one
When withdrawal arrived I still felt nothing but sorrow inside
It was pointless..to what avail had I swallowed my pride?
Korean children crying through fatherless eyes?
A hero we were called by the wives..
Their Korean counterparts' husbands had lost all their lives
How am I to fit back into society?
Any loud noise and I think the Koreans are rioting..
I awaken from my sleep and reach for a gun that isn't there
How could I have a family like this? With wife and children scared?
But selfishly I did it anyway in an attempt to be normal
I'd bite at anyone..i'd never be cordial, forever abnormal..
My sons grew older and only ever more distant from me
They'd never get kisses from me..they were just kids that loved me
They grew up and left the house to me and my wife of 40 years
She'd always cry imploring tears to ever snoring ears
Until the day she left me with only my badges and honors
Wondering, what if I had have been a goner
The world would be happier, and I probably would too
Nobody can penetrate my shell, and no-one knows what to do
So tonight, once again my pistol and I shall sleep alone,
Interrupted by memories on pillows that feel like heaps of stones
I once considered myself Evergreen.."everlasting", i'd be saying with a grin
Nowadays I'm just a withered willow, swaying in the wind...

Feedback is greatly appreciated..

One Love.

ThA ViiRu5 · 06-29-2009, 09:30 PM

..............................bump

Reddi Ree · 06-29-2009, 09:35 PM

This was type long but i really couldnt stop readin it...
I could picture dis shit in ma head when I was readin it...
It had like a story/meaning type feelin to it if u kno wat I mean...

Overall dis was some lyrical ish

Sweets33 · 06-29-2009, 10:27 PM

This is board is wack that something like this doesn't get a reply, and then some 15 year old kid typing in caps is hot shit.

This was tight. Did you actually go to Korea? Or was this just a vision?

ThA ViiRu5 · 06-29-2009, 10:46 PM

I really appreciate your feedback, and no I did not. I just thought I'd tell the story of a veteran. It's fictitious in its entirety, but based on the stories of many.

Thanks for taking the time out to read and comment.

Oh yeah, I'm 16 years old hahahaha

Lil Brizzle · 06-30-2009, 01:22 AM

this was mad hot as usual.....very deep concept....i felt that it was a bit too long for a text so i got bored for a bit....but the multies and flows were on point with plenty of emotion as well.....good work....

btw....u dont have to answer this....but when are u turning 17? i just wanna see whether ur older or younger than me.....

ThA ViiRu5 · 06-30-2009, 03:33 AM

^^ word. i just wrote the shit, and when i read it back over i was like "yo this is mad long" lol. But thanks.

And late september.

More feedback would be appreciated..

Lil Brizzle · 06-30-2009, 03:49 AM

cool....ur 2 months older than me btw....

Kidss · 06-30-2009, 02:58 PM

dawg this is fuckin sick

ThA ViiRu5 · 06-30-2009, 05:56 PM

^^ lol simple but appreciated. Thank you.

Any feedback is appreciated..

sofis2cated · 07-02-2009, 03:05 PM

True style and charisma shown here.. A story well told soldier

ThA ViiRu5 · 08-20-2009, 02:26 AM

bump

06-28-2009, 08:36 PM	#1
ThA ViiRu5 ``Enlightened Emcee::.. Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: ................ Posts: 2,606 Repped: 521 Repped 179 Times in 104 Posts Neg Reps: 78 Neg Repped at 16 Times in 15 Posts	[V] Withered Willow- A Story of Conscience - [V] [V] Withered Willow- A Story of Conscience - [V] I sat down to write this with a smile. I haven't written anything like it in awhile. For better or for worse; for gift, or for curse- it's long but i pray you read it through. So here it is for you, no further ado.. I lay my head down on a pillow that feels more like rugged rock But I wonder not of the day my blood'll clot or my lungs'll stop..nicotine eating them away a habit started long ago, my heart's beating in decay I'm seeing things are grey and not as black and white But to this day I hate the n i g g e r s..its still as black and white I had to fight..a victim of propaganda, their plan and the ploy Short, tall, fat, fit..immaterial if you were a man or a boy And i was the latter, scared..shipped to training, my thoughts were scattered Bare..the barracks where I didn't belong, confidence shattered Where I'd awaken daily 6 hrs be4 my girlfriend's clock would ring What did I know of military policy? Not a thing.. I would often stop to think that i wouldn't be strong enough The days were long as fuck, my comrades combat ready..me not as much I prayed to God that what lay before me would not make me sorry that I wouldnt be deployed in time, escape the fate of Jason Voorhees But my fate's a story that's essential to history books That i read today and see nothing of how history looks January 2nd, 1951...I stepped off the edge of the plane My fingers slipped on the ripcord, I can't see myself in the rain I pull hard and hear a chorus of my fellows opening chutes My morale broken and bruised, blind..who had chosen the route? I almost break my ankles as my feet hit the earth I stumble and fall, my first taste of Korea's the dirt We started moving forward ready for our dying day We grumbled of higher pay..marching with our rifles raised We came across a deserted camp and breathed sighs of relief Until I noticed something lurking just out of sight in the trees My heart's jumpy, my slick fingers on the Garand itching for blood SUDDEN MOVEMENT! ..I'll never forget the face of the child hitting the mud That's how shitty it was..and in the days to come i'd raise my gun Countless other times, pain ive never felt.. in more ways than one When withdrawal arrived I still felt nothing but sorrow inside It was pointless..to what avail had I swallowed my pride? Korean children crying through fatherless eyes? A hero we were called by the wives.. Their Korean counterparts' husbands had lost all their lives How am I to fit back into society? Any loud noise and I think the Koreans are rioting.. I awaken from my sleep and reach for a gun that isn't there How could I have a family like this? With wife and children scared? But selfishly I did it anyway in an attempt to be normal I'd bite at anyone..i'd never be cordial, forever abnormal.. My sons grew older and only ever more distant from me They'd never get kisses from me..they were just kids that loved me They grew up and left the house to me and my wife of 40 years She'd always cry imploring tears to ever snoring ears Until the day she left me with only my badges and honors Wondering, what if I had have been a goner The world would be happier, and I probably would too Nobody can penetrate my shell, and no-one knows what to do So tonight, once again my pistol and I shall sleep alone, Interrupted by memories on pillows that feel like heaps of stones I once considered myself Evergreen.."everlasting", i'd be saying with a grin Nowadays I'm just a withered willow, swaying in the wind... Feedback is greatly appreciated.. One Love. __________________ "The only thing that comes to a sleeping man is dreams" ReCkoRd - [Victoriez]: 27 [Slipp Uppz]: 8 [KO]: 13 [TKO]: 1 ~~``!!...::Forever Undefeated::...!!``~~ HeAvYwEiGhT Last edited by ThA ViiRu5; 06-28-2009 at 08:41 PM.

06-29-2009, 09:30 PM	#2
ThA ViiRu5 ``Enlightened Emcee::.. Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: ................ Posts: 2,606 Repped: 521 Repped 179 Times in 104 Posts Neg Reps: 78 Neg Repped at 16 Times in 15 Posts	..............................bump __________________ "The only thing that comes to a sleeping man is dreams" ReCkoRd - [Victoriez]: 27 [Slipp Uppz]: 8 [KO]: 13 [TKO]: 1 ~~``!!...::Forever Undefeated::...!!``~~ HeAvYwEiGhT

06-29-2009, 09:35 PM	#3
Reddi Ree Everybody'z Favorite Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: C-M-D, Nu Jerzey Posts: 1,000 Repped: 230 Repped 29 Times in 24 Posts Neg Reps: 3 Neg Repped at 9 Times in 4 Posts	This was type long but i really couldnt stop readin it... I could picture dis shit in ma head when I was readin it... It had like a story/meaning type feelin to it if u kno wat I mean... Overall dis was some lyrical ish __________________ myspace.com/reeyaboy

06-29-2009, 10:27 PM	#4
Sweets33 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: The Northwest Posts: 4 Repped: 0 Repped 1 Time in 1 Post Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	Great Write This is board is wack that something like this doesn't get a reply, and then some 15 year old kid typing in caps is hot shit. This was tight. Did you actually go to Korea? Or was this just a vision?

06-29-2009, 10:46 PM	#5
ThA ViiRu5 ``Enlightened Emcee::.. Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: ................ Posts: 2,606 Repped: 521 Repped 179 Times in 104 Posts Neg Reps: 78 Neg Repped at 16 Times in 15 Posts	I really appreciate your feedback, and no I did not. I just thought I'd tell the story of a veteran. It's fictitious in its entirety, but based on the stories of many. Thanks for taking the time out to read and comment. Oh yeah, I'm 16 years old hahahaha __________________ "The only thing that comes to a sleeping man is dreams" ReCkoRd - [Victoriez]: 27 [Slipp Uppz]: 8 [KO]: 13 [TKO]: 1 ~~``!!...::Forever Undefeated::...!!``~~ HeAvYwEiGhT

06-30-2009, 01:22 AM	#6
Lil Brizzle S.F.S. Coming! Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Land Of The Latent Posts: 1,598 Repped: 38 Repped 100 Times in 48 Posts Neg Reps: 44 Neg Repped at 72 Times in 42 Posts	this was mad hot as usual.....very deep concept....i felt that it was a bit too long for a text so i got bored for a bit....but the multies and flows were on point with plenty of emotion as well.....good work.... btw....u dont have to answer this....but when are u turning 17? i just wanna see whether ur older or younger than me..... __________________ S.F.S. to be out on 23/11/2009!!!

06-30-2009, 03:33 AM	#7
ThA ViiRu5 ``Enlightened Emcee::.. Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: ................ Posts: 2,606 Repped: 521 Repped 179 Times in 104 Posts Neg Reps: 78 Neg Repped at 16 Times in 15 Posts	^^ word. i just wrote the shit, and when i read it back over i was like "yo this is mad long" lol. But thanks. And late september. More feedback would be appreciated.. __________________ "The only thing that comes to a sleeping man is dreams" ReCkoRd - [Victoriez]: 27 [Slipp Uppz]: 8 [KO]: 13 [TKO]: 1 ~~``!!...::Forever Undefeated::...!!``~~ HeAvYwEiGhT

06-30-2009, 03:49 AM	#8
Lil Brizzle S.F.S. Coming! Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Land Of The Latent Posts: 1,598 Repped: 38 Repped 100 Times in 48 Posts Neg Reps: 44 Neg Repped at 72 Times in 42 Posts	cool....ur 2 months older than me btw.... __________________ S.F.S. to be out on 23/11/2009!!!

06-30-2009, 02:58 PM	#9
Kidss Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Bloomington Posts: 380 Repped: 0 Repped 34 Times in 26 Posts Neg Reps: 1 Neg Repped at 21 Times in 16 Posts	dawg this is fuckin sick

06-30-2009, 05:56 PM	#10
ThA ViiRu5 ``Enlightened Emcee::.. Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: ................ Posts: 2,606 Repped: 521 Repped 179 Times in 104 Posts Neg Reps: 78 Neg Repped at 16 Times in 15 Posts	^^ lol simple but appreciated. Thank you. Any feedback is appreciated.. __________________ "The only thing that comes to a sleeping man is dreams" ReCkoRd - [Victoriez]: 27 [Slipp Uppz]: 8 [KO]: 13 [TKO]: 1 ~~``!!...::Forever Undefeated::...!!``~~ HeAvYwEiGhT

07-02-2009, 03:05 PM	#11
sofis2cated California Lyricist Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Bakersfield, CA Posts: 762 Repped: 33 Repped 10 Times in 8 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 1 Time in 1 Post	True style and charisma shown here.. A story well told soldier

08-20-2009, 02:26 AM	#12
ThA ViiRu5 ``Enlightened Emcee::.. Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: ................ Posts: 2,606 Repped: 521 Repped 179 Times in 104 Posts Neg Reps: 78 Neg Repped at 16 Times in 15 Posts	bump __________________ "The only thing that comes to a sleeping man is dreams" ReCkoRd - [Victoriez]: 27 [Slipp Uppz]: 8 [KO]: 13 [TKO]: 1 ~~``!!...::Forever Undefeated::...!!``~~ HeAvYwEiGhT

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode