+++Constantly Striving+++

youngking187 · 12-25-2008, 01:18 AM

Ive injected the dedication to deliver the best bars..//
stretching for perfection,give my lyrics stretch marks..//
motivated to go the distance,further than earth surface..//
confident,and consistent ,got all these jerks nervous..//
all u niggaz follow king,thats what the court ordered..//
hibernating in the wilderness, or resort..sorta..//
better watch ya lady,cause i support daughters..//
defeat me?,thats like Phil benching Kobe n the 4th quarter..//(never)
constantly prepared to succeed in all circumstances..//
#1,but challenging me,like New York,going to hurt ya chances..//
it got to be impossible to create a mind to be as great as me..//
cuz my brain contains scars,like it been through slavery..//
even though u taking the route,to find the better road then me..//
crashes turn to traffic,either way,behind is where u going to be..//
its Christmas,but this year ima call it Christ mas..//
because for Christ sakes you muthafuckaz is gonna bite this..//
good night kids..//

PBMaSteRMiNdiN · 12-25-2008, 01:55 AM

Son.. Record This.. This Is Fucking Dope..

youngking187 · 12-25-2008, 02:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Pistol Banger*

Son.. Record This.. This Is Fucking Dope..

word????????lol..

PBMaSteRMiNdiN · 12-25-2008, 02:04 AM

Yeahh sonn.. Rep Me Too.. I'mm Bakkedd

youngking187 · 12-25-2008, 02:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Pistol Banger*

Yeahh sonn.. Rep Me Too.. I'mm Bakkedd

iight ima rep your bitch ass

..lmaooo
but pass that shit my nigga...

PBMaSteRMiNdiN · 12-25-2008, 02:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by youngking187

iight ima rep your bitch ass

..lmaooo
but pass that shit my nigga...

I'm on My 7th L tonite...

youngking187 · 12-25-2008, 07:20 PM

^^^^word????..i smoked twice today..
bumpppppppppppppp

mcduffee420 · 12-25-2008, 11:01 PM

shiti wish i have.....beeen 2 long

youngking187 · 12-25-2008, 11:17 PM

wat?????^^^^^^^

Shogun · 12-26-2008, 05:01 AM

Pretty poor. Nothing you're saying is insightful, witty or even particularly interesting & when you add that to the fact that this isn't structurally sound - your wording & rhyme patterns are awkward - then it's not worth posting.

You should attempt to tighten your structures, first & foremost, because it's a far more objective pursuit, & subsequently much easier to achieve, than improving the actual substance.

And since it's the festive period, I'll even provide scrutiny of my own stuff. The following throwaway lines are almost completely devoid of substance but they're woven well enough to ensure that some kind of enjoyment can be gleaned from them:

..cuz Shogun's cynical core ain't nuttin made up
It's more like his umbilical cord to Mother Nature
Straight stunt in the physical, floss somethin major
And budding multi-syllable 'phors stay stumpin haters..

You see how those four lines are just tighter than what you posted?

Regardless, if you have any intent to improve, you, along with many of those here, would do well to take this kind of stuff on board.

youngking187 · 12-26-2008, 03:16 PM

iight..good lookz on the feed^^^

youngking187 · 12-29-2008, 05:34 PM

bumppppppp

Komplex · 12-30-2008, 01:39 AM

defeat me?,thats like Phil benching Kobe n the 4th quarter..//(never)
constantly prepared to succeed in all circumstances..//
#1,but challenging me,like New York,going to hurt ya chances..//
it got to be impossible to create a mind to be as great as me..//
cuz my brain contains scars,like it been through slavery..//

best part of the freestyle. overall, this drop had an enjoyable flow and the multies were pretty well executed. you did a good job of staying on topic as well. The only advice I would offer is for you to try to be more creative with your wordplay as far as using more metaphors and less similies. I can read this drop and tell you're improvin so keep workin fam. 1.

PBMaSteRMiNdiN · 12-30-2008, 01:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Pistol Banger*

I'm on My 7th L tonite...

Don't remember Posting this..

youngking187 · 12-30-2008, 04:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Komplex

defeat me?,thats like Phil benching Kobe n the 4th quarter..//(never)
constantly prepared to succeed in all circumstances..//
#1,but challenging me,like New York,going to hurt ya chances..//
it got to be impossible to create a mind to be as great as me..//
cuz my brain contains scars,like it been through slavery..//

best part of the freestyle. overall, this drop had an enjoyable flow and the multies were pretty well executed. you did a good job of staying on topic as well. The only advice I would offer is for you to try to be more creative with your wordplay as far as using more metaphors and less similies. I can read this drop and tell you're improvin so keep workin fam. 1.

good lookz on the feed my nigg...
get at me bout a collab...

and pistol u funny is shit..lmaooo

youngking187 · 01-02-2009, 09:37 PM

bumpppppppppppppp

Bunny_Rabbit · 01-03-2009, 06:15 PM

Damn, multi's were tight, and it flowed good; pretty sick bars in this my dude. 7/10 Stay up, man.

Str8Shooter · 01-03-2009, 08:47 PM

good punchlines cool flow see some multies good drop

youngking187 · 02-09-2009, 05:22 PM

lol.....upppppppppppppppz

Witty Qwan · 04-15-2009, 02:23 AM

shogun is a pure hater....dopeeee

hans1992 · 04-15-2009, 09:32 PM

that shit was hot props man

J~Souljah · 04-16-2009, 09:35 PM

hmmm this was decent....some of ya metas got a bit redundant (mostly because of how you worded them)....decent multies....

pretty good

youngking187 · 04-23-2009, 12:09 AM

damn didnt know this waz still gettin feed..
good lookz J,Sparks and hans..

12-25-2008, 01:55 AM	#2
PBMaSteRMiNdiN myspace.com/ObeythePen Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: In ThA NotePaD Posts: 4,902 Repped: 79 Repped 311 Times in 147 Posts Neg Reps: 1 Neg Repped at 27 Times in 22 Posts	Son.. Record This.. This Is Fucking Dope.. __________________ "I'm having Murderous dreams cus I smoke like a Metric Ton, I Raise my L's in the Air like the Devil's Son." R.I.P. Big L & Vito

12-25-2008, 02:04 AM	#4
PBMaSteRMiNdiN myspace.com/ObeythePen Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: In ThA NotePaD Posts: 4,902 Repped: 79 Repped 311 Times in 147 Posts Neg Reps: 1 Neg Repped at 27 Times in 22 Posts	Yeahh sonn.. Rep Me Too.. I'mm Bakkedd __________________ "I'm having Murderous dreams cus I smoke like a Metric Ton, I Raise my L's in the Air like the Devil's Son." R.I.P. Big L & Vito

12-25-2008, 07:20 PM	#7
youngking187 ***** IM AMAZINGGGGGGGGGG Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Washington D.C Posts: 2,517 Repped: 305 Repped 607 Times in 143 Posts Neg Reps: 1 Neg Repped at 12 Times in 11 Posts	^^^^word????..i smoked twice today.. bumpppppppppppppp __________________ I dont Kiss No Lips That Open Up Sidewayz

12-25-2008, 11:17 PM	#9
youngking187 ***** IM AMAZINGGGGGGGGGG Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Washington D.C Posts: 2,517 Repped: 305 Repped 607 Times in 143 Posts Neg Reps: 1 Neg Repped at 12 Times in 11 Posts	wat?????^^^^^^^ __________________ I dont Kiss No Lips That Open Up Sidewayz

12-26-2008, 03:16 PM	#11
youngking187 ***** IM AMAZINGGGGGGGGGG Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Washington D.C Posts: 2,517 Repped: 305 Repped 607 Times in 143 Posts Neg Reps: 1 Neg Repped at 12 Times in 11 Posts	iight..good lookz on the feed^^^ __________________ I dont Kiss No Lips That Open Up Sidewayz

12-25-2008, 01:18 AM	#1
youngking187 ***** IM AMAZINGGGGGGGGGG Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Washington D.C Posts: 2,517 Repped: 305 Repped 607 Times in 143 Posts Neg Reps: 1 Neg Repped at 12 Times in 11 Posts	+++Constantly Striving+++ +++Constantly Striving+++ Ive injected the dedication to deliver the best bars..// stretching for perfection,give my lyrics stretch marks..// motivated to go the distance,further than earth surface..// confident,and consistent ,got all these jerks nervous..// all u niggaz follow king,thats what the court ordered..// hibernating in the wilderness, or resort..sorta..// better watch ya lady,cause i support daughters..// defeat me?,thats like Phil benching Kobe n the 4th quarter..//(never) constantly prepared to succeed in all circumstances..// #1,but challenging me,like New York,going to hurt ya chances..// it got to be impossible to create a mind to be as great as me..// cuz my brain contains scars,like it been through slavery..// even though u taking the route,to find the better road then me..// crashes turn to traffic,either way,behind is where u going to be..// its Christmas,but this year ima call it Christ mas..// because for Christ sakes you muthafuckaz is gonna bite this..// good night kids..// __________________ I dont Kiss No Lips That Open Up Sidewayz Last edited by youngking187; 12-25-2008 at 01:21 AM.

12-25-2008, 11:01 PM	#8
mcduffee420 Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: minnesota_st.cloud Posts: 686 Repped: 169 Repped 81 Times in 40 Posts Neg Reps: 10 Neg Repped at 31 Times in 22 Posts	shiti wish i have.....beeen 2 long

12-26-2008, 05:01 AM	#10
Shogun Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 718 Repped: 0 Repped 13 Times in 12 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 4 Times in 4 Posts	Pretty poor. Nothing you're saying is insightful, witty or even particularly interesting & when you add that to the fact that this isn't structurally sound - your wording & rhyme patterns are awkward - then it's not worth posting. You should attempt to tighten your structures, first & foremost, because it's a far more objective pursuit, & subsequently much easier to achieve, than improving the actual substance. And since it's the festive period, I'll even provide scrutiny of my own stuff. The following throwaway lines are almost completely devoid of substance but they're woven well enough to ensure that some kind of enjoyment can be gleaned from them: ..cuz Shogun's cynical core ain't nuttin made up It's more like his umbilical cord to Mother Nature Straight stunt in the physical, floss somethin major And budding multi-syllable 'phors stay stumpin haters.. You see how those four lines are just tighter than what you posted? Regardless, if you have any intent to improve, you, along with many of those here, would do well to take this kind of stuff on board.

12-29-2008, 05:34 PM	#12
youngking187 ***** IM AMAZINGGGGGGGGGG Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Washington D.C Posts: 2,517 Repped: 305 Repped 607 Times in 143 Posts Neg Reps: 1 Neg Repped at 12 Times in 11 Posts	bumppppppp __________________ I dont Kiss No Lips That Open Up Sidewayz

12-30-2008, 01:39 AM	#13
Komplex Poetic Swagger Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 1,164 Repped: 117 Repped 99 Times in 50 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 2 Times in 2 Posts	defeat me?,thats like Phil benching Kobe n the 4th quarter..//(never) constantly prepared to succeed in all circumstances..// #1,but challenging me,like New York,going to hurt ya chances..// it got to be impossible to create a mind to be as great as me..// cuz my brain contains scars,like it been through slavery..// best part of the freestyle. overall, this drop had an enjoyable flow and the multies were pretty well executed. you did a good job of staying on topic as well. The only advice I would offer is for you to try to be more creative with your wordplay as far as using more metaphors and less similies. I can read this drop and tell you're improvin so keep workin fam. 1. __________________ "Set up to be a loser but was made to be a winner If they paint Hip Hop I bet my face be in the picture If they wrote a Rap Bible bet my name be in the scriptures If shorty say I'm her Idol, bet her face be in my zipper"-Joell Ortiz

01-02-2009, 09:37 PM	#16
youngking187 ***** IM AMAZINGGGGGGGGGG Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Washington D.C Posts: 2,517 Repped: 305 Repped 607 Times in 143 Posts Neg Reps: 1 Neg Repped at 12 Times in 11 Posts	bumpppppppppppppp __________________ I dont Kiss No Lips That Open Up Sidewayz

01-03-2009, 06:15 PM	#17
Bunny_Rabbit Rorshak Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The Tangent Universe Posts: 886 Repped: 44 Repped 118 Times in 53 Posts Neg Reps: 52 Neg Repped at 59 Times in 54 Posts	Damn, multi's were tight, and it flowed good; pretty sick bars in this my dude. 7/10 Stay up, man. __________________

01-03-2009, 08:47 PM	#18
Str8Shooter Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: In the Dungeons of Rap Posts: 38 Repped: 0 Repped 5 Times in 5 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	good punchlines cool flow see some multies good drop

02-09-2009, 05:22 PM	#19
youngking187 ***** IM AMAZINGGGGGGGGGG Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Washington D.C Posts: 2,517 Repped: 305 Repped 607 Times in 143 Posts Neg Reps: 1 Neg Repped at 12 Times in 11 Posts	lol.....upppppppppppppppz __________________ I dont Kiss No Lips That Open Up Sidewayz

04-15-2009, 02:23 AM	#20
Witty Qwan # Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: My crib Posts: 3,051 Repped: 155 Repped 484 Times in 311 Posts Neg Reps: 21 Neg Repped at 82 Times in 75 Posts	shogun is a pure hater....dopeeee __________________ [02:34PM] Lyrikcha FUCK THIS FAGGOT CHAMBERS NIGGA...IM A CUT HIS HEAD OFF AND PUT IT ON A STICK FOR MY NIGGA TIGER CAN DEFROST THE GAT AND SMOKE U

04-15-2009, 09:32 PM	#21
hans1992 Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: ct Posts: 5 Repped: 0 Repped 1 Time in 1 Post Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	that shit was hot props man

04-16-2009, 09:35 PM	#22
J~Souljah Veteran Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Baltimore, Maryland Posts: 1,826 Repped: 11 Repped 97 Times in 67 Posts Neg Reps: 1 Neg Repped at 22 Times in 17 Posts	hmmm this was decent....some of ya metas got a bit redundant (mostly because of how you worded them)....decent multies.... pretty good

04-23-2009, 12:09 AM	#23
youngking187 ***** IM AMAZINGGGGGGGGGG Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Washington D.C Posts: 2,517 Repped: 305 Repped 607 Times in 143 Posts Neg Reps: 1 Neg Repped at 12 Times in 11 Posts	damn didnt know this waz still gettin feed.. good lookz J,Sparks and hans.. __________________ I dont Kiss No Lips That Open Up Sidewayz

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