05/31/08 - Returning With A Vengeance

Chow Mien Gunna · 05-31-2008, 02:43 PM

on the road to glory theres bodys of soldiers hidden in the ditches
second chances in life are for the ones god forgiven or da snitches
i aint livin for the riches,cuz i just wanna feel da heathan of god
cuz i no dat my chance of succeeding in life is either even or odd
im recievin applause,wen i find victory im gonna taste it n grab it
id rather be lonely at the top than the same place as da average
my foes is facin a savage,n i cant b happy if my depression is high
in life ive realised i cant aim for greatness if im destined to die
at least ill be blessed in da sky,along with the soldiers n angels
my child hood was all fun n games but life just gets older n painful
ive mastered clever,wen it comes to perfection u will hav it never
cuz if all good things come to an end,den great things last forever
i rap mor better,so sick wit my rymes i must hav a lyrical infection
your state of mind is so poor u must be in a spirtirual depression
gods miracles is blessing,the public must start facing the currency
n start pacing da urgency,cuz hiphops lifes in a state of emergency

J~Souljah · 05-31-2008, 06:06 PM

i aint livin for the riches,cuz i just wanna feel da heathan of god
^^^^^^what?

Tha Truth · 05-31-2008, 06:22 PM

good shit gunna everything was on point 9/10

ThA ViiRu5 · 05-31-2008, 06:31 PM

if this is Young Gunna then send me your verse for the collab doggie

J~Souljah · 05-31-2008, 06:32 PM

on the road to glory theres bodys of soldiers hidden in the ditches
nice line and imagery

second chances in life are for the ones god forgiven or da snitches
didnt make much sense...i dont think god would give someone a sekond chance if their sakraficing some1's freedom/life/well~being for the sake of themselves...(which is what snitches do)

i aint livin for the riches,cuz i just wanna feel da heathan of god
umm...doesnt make sense..."feel the heathan of god"...doesnt make sense...and if u do reply and say u meant u wanna feel jesus...well jesus wasnt a heathen...and that sound like u mean u wann molest jesus anyways

cuz i no dat my chance of succeeding in life is either even or odd
decent line

im recievin applause,wen i find victory im gonna taste it n grab it
nice line..

id rather be lonely at the top than the same place as da average
nice shit...good twist on an old saying...u koulda elaborated

my foes is facin a savage,n i cant b happy if my depression is high
the happy/depression part was a bit self explanatory

in life ive realised i cant aim for greatness if im destined to die
well...that kinda makes no sense...kause there would be no such thing as "great" if what u say is true...that's kause everyone is destined to die

at least ill be blessed in da sky,along with the soldiers n angels
good line

my child hood was all fun n games but life just gets older n painful
life kant age but i know what u meant..decent line

ive mastered clever,wen it comes to perfection u will hav it never
u just randomly changed gears......

cuz if all good things come to an end,den great things last forever
but u said there's no such thing as great....kinda random also

i rap mor better,so sick wit my rymes i must hav a lyrical infection
"more better"<<<that's a no no....kliche line though (sickness and lyrikal ability)

your state of mind is so poor u must be in a spirtirual depression
that's decent

gods miracles is blessing,the public must start facing the currency
what????....facing the money?...where does god fall in to this idea?

n start pacing da urgency,cuz hiphops lifes in a state of emergency
you wouldnt pace urgency if something is an emergency...pacing is basikally slowing down for your own konvenience

well i kant really vouch for your skillz as a textcee...you need to work on how you word things......

DXavier23 · 05-31-2008, 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J~Souljah

on the road to glory theres bodys of soldiers hidden in the ditches
nice line and imagery

second chances in life are for the ones god forgiven or da snitches
didnt make much sense...i dont think god would give someone a sekond chance if their sakraficing some1's freedom/life/well~being for the sake of themselves...(which is what snitches do)

i aint livin for the riches,cuz i just wanna feel da heathan of god
umm...doesnt make sense..."feel the heathan of god"...doesnt make sense...and if u do reply and say u meant u wanna feel jesus...well jesus wasnt a heathen...and that sound like u mean u wann molest jesus anyways

cuz i no dat my chance of succeeding in life is either even or odd
decent line

im recievin applause,wen i find victory im gonna taste it n grab it
nice line..

id rather be lonely at the top than the same place as da average
nice shit...good twist on an old saying...u koulda elaborated

my foes is facin a savage,n i cant b happy if my depression is high
the happy/depression part was a bit self explanatory

in life ive realised i cant aim for greatness if im destined to die
well...that kinda makes no sense...kause there would be no such thing as "great" if what u say is true...that's kause everyone is destined to die

at least ill be blessed in da sky,along with the soldiers n angels
good line

my child hood was all fun n games but life just gets older n painful
life kant age but i know what u meant..decent line

ive mastered clever,wen it comes to perfection u will hav it never
u just randomly changed gears......

cuz if all good things come to an end,den great things last forever
but u said there's no such thing as great....kinda random also

i rap mor better,so sick wit my rymes i must hav a lyrical infection
"more better"<<<that's a no no....kliche line though (sickness and lyrikal ability)

your state of mind is so poor u must be in a spirtirual depression
that's decent

gods miracles is blessing,the public must start facing the currency
what????....facing the money?...where does god fall in to this idea?

n start pacing da urgency,cuz hiphops lifes in a state of emergency
you wouldnt pace urgency if something is an emergency...pacing is basikally slowing down for your own konvenience

well i kant really vouch for your skillz as a textcee...you need to work on how you word things......

I agree with some of your analysis. Overall, I think the drop was hot and liked your use of multies throughout. If you want constructive criticism, it is that you shouldnt sacrifice logicality when rhyming. Good piece tho. keep it up

Projec F2D · 05-31-2008, 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J~Souljah

on the road to glory theres bodys of soldiers hidden in the ditches
nice line and imagery

second chances in life are for the ones god forgiven or da snitches
didnt make much sense...i dont think god would give someone a sekond chance if their sakraficing some1's freedom/life/well~being for the sake of themselves...(which is what snitches do)

i aint livin for the riches,cuz i just wanna feel da heathan of god
umm...doesnt make sense..."feel the heathan of god"...doesnt make sense...and if u do reply and say u meant u wanna feel jesus...well jesus wasnt a heathen...and that sound like u mean u wann molest jesus anyways

cuz i no dat my chance of succeeding in life is either even or odd
decent line

im recievin applause,wen i find victory im gonna taste it n grab it
nice line..

id rather be lonely at the top than the same place as da average
nice shit...good twist on an old saying...u koulda elaborated

my foes is facin a savage,n i cant b happy if my depression is high
the happy/depression part was a bit self explanatory

in life ive realised i cant aim for greatness if im destined to die
well...that kinda makes no sense...kause there would be no such thing as "great" if what u say is true...that's kause everyone is destined to die

at least ill be blessed in da sky,along with the soldiers n angels
good line

my child hood was all fun n games but life just gets older n painful
life kant age but i know what u meant..decent line

ive mastered clever,wen it comes to perfection u will hav it never
u just randomly changed gears......

cuz if all good things come to an end,den great things last forever
but u said there's no such thing as great....kinda random also

i rap mor better,so sick wit my rymes i must hav a lyrical infection
"more better"<<<that's a no no....kliche line though (sickness and lyrikal ability)

your state of mind is so poor u must be in a spirtirual depression
that's decent

gods miracles is blessing,the public must start facing the currency
what????....facing the money?...where does god fall in to this idea?

n start pacing da urgency,cuz hiphops lifes in a state of emergency
you wouldnt pace urgency if something is an emergency...pacing is basikally slowing down for your own konvenience

well i kant really vouch for your skillz as a textcee...you need to work on how you word things......

I agree wit mizfit

Chow Mien Gunna · 06-01-2008, 11:10 PM

good looks yall

multies,punches n all dat is easy to me,but i guess im trynna improve my vocab n i needa tak mor time on it

05-31-2008, 02:43 PM	#1
Chow Mien Gunna Baller Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: The Fuck Posts: 352 Repped: 82 Repped 26 Times in 8 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	05/31/08 - Returning With A Vengeance 05/31/08 - Returning With A Vengeance on the road to glory theres bodys of soldiers hidden in the ditches second chances in life are for the ones god forgiven or da snitches i aint livin for the riches,cuz i just wanna feel da heathan of god cuz i no dat my chance of succeeding in life is either even or odd im recievin applause,wen i find victory im gonna taste it n grab it id rather be lonely at the top than the same place as da average my foes is facin a savage,n i cant b happy if my depression is high in life ive realised i cant aim for greatness if im destined to die at least ill be blessed in da sky,along with the soldiers n angels my child hood was all fun n games but life just gets older n painful ive mastered clever,wen it comes to perfection u will hav it never cuz if all good things come to an end,den great things last forever i rap mor better,so sick wit my rymes i must hav a lyrical infection your state of mind is so poor u must be in a spirtirual depression gods miracles is blessing,the public must start facing the currency n start pacing da urgency,cuz hiphops lifes in a state of emergency __________________

05-31-2008, 06:22 PM	#3
Tha Truth ..:General Truth:... Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: at ya girl crib Posts: 5,225 Repped: 675 Repped 1,045 Times in 251 Posts Neg Reps: 1 Neg Repped at 3 Times in 2 Posts	good shit gunna everything was on point 9/10 __________________ {~Undisputed G$~}/Mechanical workin, Hechler handle's jerkin That'll pull the Gate in after you Heavenly church him-Bank$

05-31-2008, 06:31 PM	#4
ThA ViiRu5 ``Enlightened Emcee::.. Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: ................ Posts: 2,617 Repped: 525 Repped 179 Times in 104 Posts Neg Reps: 81 Neg Repped at 21 Times in 16 Posts	if this is Young Gunna then send me your verse for the collab doggie __________________ "The only thing that comes to a sleeping man is dreams" ReCkoRd - [Victoriez]: 27 [Slipp Uppz]: 8 [KO]: 13 [TKO]: 1 ~~``!!...::Forever Undefeated::...!!``~~ HeAvYwEiGhT

06-01-2008, 11:10 PM	#8
Chow Mien Gunna Baller Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: The Fuck Posts: 352 Repped: 82 Repped 26 Times in 8 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	good looks yall multies,punches n all dat is easy to me,but i guess im trynna improve my vocab n i needa tak mor time on it __________________

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05-31-2008, 06:06 PM	#2
J~Souljah Veteran Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Baltimore, Maryland Posts: 1,826 Repped: 11 Repped 97 Times in 67 Posts Neg Reps: 1 Neg Repped at 22 Times in 17 Posts	i aint livin for the riches,cuz i just wanna feel da heathan of god ^^^^^^what?

05-31-2008, 06:32 PM	#5
J~Souljah Veteran Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Baltimore, Maryland Posts: 1,826 Repped: 11 Repped 97 Times in 67 Posts Neg Reps: 1 Neg Repped at 22 Times in 17 Posts	on the road to glory theres bodys of soldiers hidden in the ditches nice line and imagery second chances in life are for the ones god forgiven or da snitches didnt make much sense...i dont think god would give someone a sekond chance if their sakraficing some1's freedom/life/well~being for the sake of themselves...(which is what snitches do) i aint livin for the riches,cuz i just wanna feel da heathan of god umm...doesnt make sense..."feel the heathan of god"...doesnt make sense...and if u do reply and say u meant u wanna feel jesus...well jesus wasnt a heathen...and that sound like u mean u wann molest jesus anyways cuz i no dat my chance of succeeding in life is either even or odd decent line im recievin applause,wen i find victory im gonna taste it n grab it nice line.. id rather be lonely at the top than the same place as da average nice shit...good twist on an old saying...u koulda elaborated my foes is facin a savage,n i cant b happy if my depression is high the happy/depression part was a bit self explanatory in life ive realised i cant aim for greatness if im destined to die well...that kinda makes no sense...kause there would be no such thing as "great" if what u say is true...that's kause everyone is destined to die at least ill be blessed in da sky,along with the soldiers n angels good line my child hood was all fun n games but life just gets older n painful life kant age but i know what u meant..decent line ive mastered clever,wen it comes to perfection u will hav it never u just randomly changed gears...... cuz if all good things come to an end,den great things last forever but u said there's no such thing as great....kinda random also i rap mor better,so sick wit my rymes i must hav a lyrical infection "more better"<<<that's a no no....kliche line though (sickness and lyrikal ability) your state of mind is so poor u must be in a spirtirual depression that's decent gods miracles is blessing,the public must start facing the currency what????....facing the money?...where does god fall in to this idea? n start pacing da urgency,cuz hiphops lifes in a state of emergency you wouldnt pace urgency if something is an emergency...pacing is basikally slowing down for your own konvenience well i kant really vouch for your skillz as a textcee...you need to work on how you word things......