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| Freestyles Spit some hot flows in here...show all the other members what you are made of! |
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#1 |
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Wins-5-Loss-1-KO-2-
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: GC Bitches!! Latest Head Killed:.Raveness-KO-
Posts: 291
Repped: 0
Repped 6 Times in 4 Posts
Neg Reps: 0
Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts
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.Poetry.
See every day I wake up with my pen in hand Writing up stepping stones to one day stand And when that day comes, there’s on thing I’ll thank The one thing to be frank, always kept the fuel in tank Friends and Family were doubting me and sayin sorry Poetry stuck by me and helped my life pave a story Forgiveness never sinks in, but lies always drown And people saying you’ll never make it puts ya’ self esteem down But did you ever see me stop? I always had writing Just notched up the lighting and kept with the times fighting Always went with the right, but soon found I was wrong Confused with times in front of me I consulted the bong Wrong, what is wrong and do two of them make a right? Stay up at night pondering about the question with fright And if revenge on another wrong is really bad Then why does god leave it open for all to have So with times of peril what do I turn to? Not a substance that paper will burn to But a style of writing that I’ve crafted to my own Never stopped typing until my abilities were shown And from that day on, things would never be the same Writing would always be there, and experience to gain So I read my words out, liked the sound So with confidence lost, a hobby was found I established a name, and people knew me Wrote up a storm when outside was gloomy And with high school drop outs raising, I kept trying Too keep my friends in school, for education to keep supplying Nothing was working, I had to find a way A light bulb appeared and it was solved that day Poetry was there, they didn’t have to know my name Left the poem on the desk, without claim to fame One picked it up, then it was passed around Next day I stumbled upon it lying on the ground But I didn’t give in, I knew there was more to do Something different, so soon my ideas grew I did the same thing, but on the desk of the office Fifteen minutes later the principal came and copped it Finally it was heard, made it too the speakers Decided to step up, for the ones in the bleachers I read it out loud, admitted that I writ it Left with my backpack, put on my fitted But before I walked out, my friend stopped me Skipped everyday, white and stalky He looked at me face to face, n I had a hunch But it was soon distorted when I felt the punch Fell too the ground, dropped the paper and bag Laughed at me slowly, then called me a fag … The next day I woke up, the starting of summer It was already six o’clock and time for supper I thought about what happened, why I was here Just wanted to help out, my words for them to hear I slept night and day, writ down what I thought Then writ down some more, I deserved what I got The day didn’t end like that, I took one punch to the face Then got back up, with our styles to embrace My best friend died…because of poetry But I took the blame, let everyone know it’s me So the one thing that saved my life, took a friends So this is the last day I wake up, and how my story ends…..
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~NAMEPLAY KING~ ![]() Killed: ThaViiru5 Aka Utopian, Paranormal (HoShow), Flawlessrikan, Tha Solution |
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#2 |
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Banned
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 944
Repped: 3
Repped 27 Times in 19 Posts
Neg Reps: 0
Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts
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This is Good
Depth,imagination was there flow was on point and soild multies Ironlungzz youre going in the right path as always keep it up
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RASD |
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#3 |
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 156
Repped: 1
Repped 4 Times in 3 Posts
Neg Reps: 4
Neg Repped at 6 Times in 5 Posts
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^he just read the first 2 lines
ima be honest, i didn't read it all either, but i started at the middle and read down. seemed basic, you stopped using multies after like the first 2 bars so i don't get how you can even point them out. 5/10 at best |
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#4 |
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Banned
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Queens. NY
Posts: 2,793
Repped: 525
Repped 939 Times in 277 Posts
Neg Reps: 0
Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts
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i (unlike the other 2) read the whole thing....and it was hott.....flow was great but sometimes it got choppy....but the lines were dope and i liked it..8.5/10..stay up
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#5 |
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Wins-5-Loss-1-KO-2-
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: GC Bitches!! Latest Head Killed:.Raveness-KO-
Posts: 291
Repped: 0
Repped 6 Times in 4 Posts
Neg Reps: 0
Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts
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thanks man, appreciate the feed.
__________________
~NAMEPLAY KING~ ![]() Killed: ThaViiru5 Aka Utopian, Paranormal (HoShow), Flawlessrikan, Tha Solution |
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