Ungrateful

YoungJ · 02-14-2007, 06:58 PM

im plannin' on doin' an audio for this. I dont kno if ill add more or not but yea...

I never thought that I would have to write, have to fight
Doesn't matter what I look like... blue, black or white
They hatin', but they still know the tracks are nice
In fact I'm like... "you could get signed if you were half as nice"
Lets go back some nights right through my tragic life
When Uncle Jim and Uncle Mike liked to stab wit knifes
In the kitchen, glasses breaking, mom and dad would fight
.........I dont think I wanna have a wife
I'm full with all this knowledge, but I lack advice
Crack n' pipes equivalent to when I rap and write
Spectacular sight... sit back and watch me rise
I'M... kinda high, and where's my prize?
I'll have enemys wakin' up, screamin' "WHERE'S MY EYES!?"
"WHERE'S MY ARMS?" and "OH MY GOD! WHERE'S MY THIGHS!?"
This is not the type of shit you'd like to wake up to
If I were ugly as half these bitches, I'd wear make up too
Like heres a vike, it's okay hun, go 'head and take a few
She get so fucked up she knocked out for a day or two
I'm like oh my lord... I was just gonna lay with you
I'm sorry but I gotta go, I wish I could stay with you
Hang with you, maybe even play with you
But your not conscious, shit... lemme take ya jewels
White gold, how'd you know? That's my favorite too
Who's gown' fuck there life up with an ungrateful dude? Maybe you...

Lyrical Messiah · 02-14-2007, 07:05 PM

Concept was good one thing i didnt like was repeated endings like

They hatin', but they still know the tracks are nice
In fact I'm like... "you could get signed if you were half as nice" and

I'll have enemys wakin' up, screamin' "WHERE'S MY EYES!?"
"WHERE'S MY ARMS?" and "OH MY GOD! WHERE'S MY THIGHS!?"

but i really liked this bar

"I'm full with all this knowledge, but I lack advice
Crack n' pipes equivalent to when I rap and write"

YoungJ · 02-14-2007, 07:10 PM

good lookz on the feed

Lyrical Messiah · 02-14-2007, 07:48 PM

Yea i wasnt tryna be harsh by my feed either i just know you could do better i've seen it

Sniper Locs · 02-14-2007, 08:02 PM

Yeah you're wahck fall back

YoungJ · 02-14-2007, 08:45 PM

this is comin from a dude who uses bird and nerd as wordplay or some shit. yo dont fuckin be leavin me feed when u dont take shit serious

PBMaSteRMiNdiN · 02-15-2007, 12:38 PM

It Was Good....Kinda Weird...But Ok

overtroll · 02-15-2007, 05:08 PM

i thought the material was nice.
prolly feelin more towards the front of the drop.

liked this part best...

Lets go back some nights right through my tragic life
When Uncle Jim and Uncle Mike liked to stab wit knifes
In the kitchen, glasses breaking, mom and dad would fight
.........I dont think I wanna have a wife

very real shit right there.
especially the part about... "dont wanna wife"
thats the kind of honest personal reflection that makes a piece stand out imo.

flow was a little inconsistent for text imo but im sure you can work it out in audio.

peace, overgrown

Jay Hussle · 02-15-2007, 05:29 PM

this was cool

Nuthin Special
But it alright ya dig

YoungJ · 02-15-2007, 05:39 PM

propz on the feed dudez, jus tryna get betta since im startin audio soon

02-14-2007, 06:58 PM	#1
YoungJ Young J Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Providence RI Posts: 3,003 Repped: 203 Repped 385 Times in 113 Posts Neg Reps: 5 Neg Repped at 4 Times in 4 Posts	Ungrateful Ungrateful im plannin' on doin' an audio for this. I dont kno if ill add more or not but yea... I never thought that I would have to write, have to fight Doesn't matter what I look like... blue, black or white They hatin', but they still know the tracks are nice In fact I'm like... "you could get signed if you were half as nice" Lets go back some nights right through my tragic life When Uncle Jim and Uncle Mike liked to stab wit knifes In the kitchen, glasses breaking, mom and dad would fight .........I dont think I wanna have a wife I'm full with all this knowledge, but I lack advice Crack n' pipes equivalent to when I rap and write Spectacular sight... sit back and watch me rise I'M... kinda high, and where's my prize? I'll have enemys wakin' up, screamin' "WHERE'S MY EYES!?" "WHERE'S MY ARMS?" and "OH MY GOD! WHERE'S MY THIGHS!?" This is not the type of shit you'd like to wake up to If I were ugly as half these bitches, I'd wear make up too Like heres a vike, it's okay hun, go 'head and take a few She get so fucked up she knocked out for a day or two I'm like oh my lord... I was just gonna lay with you I'm sorry but I gotta go, I wish I could stay with you Hang with you, maybe even play with you But your not conscious, shit... lemme take ya jewels White gold, how'd you know? That's my favorite too Who's gown' fuck there life up with an ungrateful dude? Maybe you...

02-15-2007, 12:38 PM	#7
PBMaSteRMiNdiN myspace.com/ObeythePen Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: In ThA NotePaD Posts: 4,902 Repped: 79 Repped 311 Times in 147 Posts Neg Reps: 1 Neg Repped at 27 Times in 22 Posts	It Was Good....Kinda Weird...But Ok __________________ "I'm having Murderous dreams cus I smoke like a Metric Ton, I Raise my L's in the Air like the Devil's Son." R.I.P. Big L & Vito

02-15-2007, 05:29 PM	#9
Jay Hussle Unimaginable Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: SoufSide Posts: 535 Repped: 0 Repped 52 Times in 9 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	this was cool Nuthin Special But it alright ya dig __________________ Vakill-Worst Fears Confirmed

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02-14-2007, 07:05 PM	#2
Lyrical Messiah Banned Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: NVH The Home of the Brave 3rd Wall 4 Life Posts: 1,776 Repped: 74 Repped 123 Times in 41 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 2 Times in 1 Post	Concept was good one thing i didnt like was repeated endings like They hatin', but they still know the tracks are nice In fact I'm like... "you could get signed if you were half as nice" and I'll have enemys wakin' up, screamin' "WHERE'S MY EYES!?" "WHERE'S MY ARMS?" and "OH MY GOD! WHERE'S MY THIGHS!?" but i really liked this bar "I'm full with all this knowledge, but I lack advice Crack n' pipes equivalent to when I rap and write"

02-14-2007, 07:10 PM	#3
YoungJ Young J Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Providence RI Posts: 3,003 Repped: 203 Repped 385 Times in 113 Posts Neg Reps: 5 Neg Repped at 4 Times in 4 Posts	good lookz on the feed

02-14-2007, 07:48 PM	#4
Lyrical Messiah Banned Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: NVH The Home of the Brave 3rd Wall 4 Life Posts: 1,776 Repped: 74 Repped 123 Times in 41 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 2 Times in 1 Post	Yea i wasnt tryna be harsh by my feed either i just know you could do better i've seen it

02-14-2007, 08:02 PM	#5
Sniper Locs Banned Join Date: May 2006 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 2,574 Repped: 0 Repped 108 Times in 86 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	Yeah you're wahck fall back

02-14-2007, 08:45 PM	#6
YoungJ Young J Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Providence RI Posts: 3,003 Repped: 203 Repped 385 Times in 113 Posts Neg Reps: 5 Neg Repped at 4 Times in 4 Posts	this is comin from a dude who uses bird and nerd as wordplay or some shit. yo dont fuckin be leavin me feed when u dont take shit serious

02-15-2007, 05:08 PM	#8
overtroll Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 23 Repped: 0 Repped 0 Times in 0 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	i thought the material was nice. prolly feelin more towards the front of the drop. liked this part best... Lets go back some nights right through my tragic life When Uncle Jim and Uncle Mike liked to stab wit knifes In the kitchen, glasses breaking, mom and dad would fight .........I dont think I wanna have a wife very real shit right there. especially the part about... "dont wanna wife" thats the kind of honest personal reflection that makes a piece stand out imo. flow was a little inconsistent for text imo but im sure you can work it out in audio. peace, overgrown

02-15-2007, 05:39 PM	#10
YoungJ Young J Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Providence RI Posts: 3,003 Repped: 203 Repped 385 Times in 113 Posts Neg Reps: 5 Neg Repped at 4 Times in 4 Posts	propz on the feed dudez, jus tryna get betta since im startin audio soon