Diary Of The Streets pt 1

tha don · 12-29-2006, 02:09 PM

jus a lil somethin
please feed

*verse 1*
check, look through my eyes at this shit of the lies that hit with no suprize,
with this pain that rains like blood no comprimize, when this makes you die//
the streets to much to grab my mind can't find a thing bout rap, but the truth
in my life i can't do shit right livin day-to-day to die at night, where's tha proof//
in anyones life..on point, its a lie so the whole world roles a joint, and gives in
to stop and die on the streets to get shot no livin get blown to fuckin Oblivion//
thats the true streets for example, take this verse and my words for a sample
that this is crazy so crazy fucked up place, a dead look on a face, its a battle//
from this place, just tryin to keep my mind find a rap deal and sign, and my rhyme
will preach to the streets put the drugs 'n guns away pray for peace, in this time//
no tellin whats gonna happen next, get a bullet to ya neck, just pray to jesus
and pray that tha dude heal us, wraps are wounds up, keep yellin, 'till he hears us//
don't get shot to pieces, cuz ya rap game and all the streets truly needs us
the day i die is tha day they defeat us, they can open our mind and read us
but never win cuz we partners in this bitch we all take a hit get back up and resume
our postion, we runin first place in tha compition, but i ate more than i could consume//
this street life shit gotta hold on me, make it to tha top in on piece is my goal
but the measure for watever is gettin harder to hold, just know, thats how i roll//
i'll be in this bitch 'till the end, stackin cash 'till the end, rappin and makin them "ends"
i'am in it for me keep it on the down low, i got no1 cuz i'am solo,don't care bout friends//
they stabbed my back, i am in the game not to bullshit but to rap, so go tell 'em that
bitches snitchin most of em rats cant do shit but get back to my cold life an thats a fact//

*chorus*
The streets humbles me, and gives me the focus needed
To react in situations that call for me to get heated
I look at the past, that follows me, that future ahead
And think is there somewhere I rather be instead
And as long as I’m here I won’t see defeat
Because I write my own diary of the streets

just a little somethin please leave feed an if you would like to get on it jus pm me an ill do a pt 2..thanks

B Dope · 12-29-2006, 06:36 PM

Don't wanna hate on you but heres a few tips you need. First of your lines are stretched. Shorten them up a lot and thats a good start. You coulda had a nice flow going.

The Lyrical One · 12-29-2006, 06:48 PM

^^^^^^

ughhhhh

THAT WASNT STRECHTED AS LONG AS THE LINES ARE EQUAL THEN ITS COOL WIT ME
U HAD SOME GOOD LINES IN THERE MAN
BUT KEEP IMPROVIIN(no HATE)

tha don · 12-30-2006, 03:37 PM

i take feed good so thanks a lot guys i know theres no hate..but thanks a lot for tha feed... uppin for some more

tha don · 12-31-2006, 01:32 PM

uppin for more feed.....

12-29-2006, 02:09 PM	#1
tha don THA ILLEST Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Tha COE Posts: 30 Repped: 0 Repped 0 Times in 0 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	Diary Of The Streets pt 1 Diary Of The Streets pt 1 jus a lil somethin please feed verse 1 check, look through my eyes at this shit of the lies that hit with no suprize, with this pain that rains like blood no comprimize, when this makes you die// the streets to much to grab my mind can't find a thing bout rap, but the truth in my life i can't do shit right livin day-to-day to die at night, where's tha proof// in anyones life..on point, its a lie so the whole world roles a joint, and gives in to stop and die on the streets to get shot no livin get blown to fuckin Oblivion// thats the true streets for example, take this verse and my words for a sample that this is crazy so crazy fucked up place, a dead look on a face, its a battle// from this place, just tryin to keep my mind find a rap deal and sign, and my rhyme will preach to the streets put the drugs 'n guns away pray for peace, in this time// no tellin whats gonna happen next, get a bullet to ya neck, just pray to jesus and pray that tha dude heal us, wraps are wounds up, keep yellin, 'till he hears us// don't get shot to pieces, cuz ya rap game and all the streets truly needs us the day i die is tha day they defeat us, they can open our mind and read us but never win cuz we partners in this bitch we all take a hit get back up and resume our postion, we runin first place in tha compition, but i ate more than i could consume// this street life shit gotta hold on me, make it to tha top in on piece is my goal but the measure for watever is gettin harder to hold, just know, thats how i roll// i'll be in this bitch 'till the end, stackin cash 'till the end, rappin and makin them "ends" i'am in it for me keep it on the down low, i got no1 cuz i'am solo,don't care bout friends// they stabbed my back, i am in the game not to bullshit but to rap, so go tell 'em that bitches snitchin most of em rats cant do shit but get back to my cold life an thats a fact// chorus The streets humbles me, and gives me the focus needed To react in situations that call for me to get heated I look at the past, that follows me, that future ahead And think is there somewhere I rather be instead And as long as I’m here I won’t see defeat Because I write my own diary of the streets just a little somethin please leave feed an if you would like to get on it jus pm me an ill do a pt 2..thanks

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12-29-2006, 06:36 PM	#2
B Dope Banned Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,051 Repped: 638 Repped 375 Times in 112 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	Don't wanna hate on you but heres a few tips you need. First of your lines are stretched. Shorten them up a lot and thats a good start. You coulda had a nice flow going.

12-29-2006, 06:48 PM	#3
The Lyrical One !!..SuPeR LyRiCiSt..!! Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: lol Posts: 1,650 Repped: 31 Repped 15 Times in 12 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	^^^^^^ ughhhhh THAT WASNT STRECHTED AS LONG AS THE LINES ARE EQUAL THEN ITS COOL WIT ME U HAD SOME GOOD LINES IN THERE MAN BUT KEEP IMPROVIIN(no HATE)

12-30-2006, 03:37 PM	#4
tha don THA ILLEST Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Tha COE Posts: 30 Repped: 0 Repped 0 Times in 0 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	i take feed good so thanks a lot guys i know theres no hate..but thanks a lot for tha feed... uppin for some more

12-31-2006, 01:32 PM	#5
tha don THA ILLEST Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Tha COE Posts: 30 Repped: 0 Repped 0 Times in 0 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	uppin for more feed.....