Lost One (Topical)

J~Souljah · 12-09-2006, 06:19 PM

chea i'ma record dis ova da lost ones beat

dis is mah 1st topical so chea....enjoy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i tried 2 run but he grabbed me instead
i guess mah whole body made a perfect path 4 da lead
as i endured da heat...niggas gathered n said
"it's a shame...das wut he get tryna clap 4 da red"
had 2 think it....couldnt even speak it
"i aint even a blood...only bang it when i bleed it"
as i'm bleedin...mah life is flashin
it grew black...lookin at da inside of a casket
a small gap between me gettin shot n mah death
i closed mah eyes den i heard a shot from da left
i'm thinkin retreat as i'm suddenly at mah feet
background starts 2 fade...wuts vivid is da heat
mah mind grew blank...fear nonexistant
silently grinned n said wut u gon do wit it
shots fired..no pain...musta went past me
mah vision turned red..da look in his eyes was ghastly
i said..."tell me...r winnin da race...
in search of money n clout"..he ran, revealin his pace
i walked home...think dat it was ova
from me...mah moms recieved a tap on shoulda
she couldnt stop lookin at a picture frame
it was blank but it read..."mah son...slain"
mah knees felt weak in da disbelief
she said "ya late...guess u wont live 2 speak"

Yung_blaze · 12-09-2006, 06:34 PM

im soz but wtf is topical?

edit: good drop i did feel it

Babe Truth · 12-09-2006, 06:53 PM

you are probably so good because u heard big L freestyle in person when u were younger

MY DICK

LethalIsILL · 12-09-2006, 09:14 PM

nice shit keep it up

Sniper Locs · 12-10-2006, 12:03 AM

nice lines i like ur style dun

J~Souljah · 12-10-2006, 01:37 AM

thx...4 da feed

n babe....battle me or stfu

LaWN NAiL · 12-10-2006, 02:34 AM

straight verse..flowed well

J~Souljah · 12-10-2006, 02:29 PM

thnx uppin

MiSs CaSsiDy · 12-12-2006, 05:20 AM

HE ON A ROLL NOW !!

i tried 2 run but he grabbed me instead
i guess mah whole body made a perfect path 4 da lead

UH HUH I LIKE HOW U STARTED THIS REALISTICLY LIKE TELLING A STORY

6.5.

a small gap between me gettin shot n mah death
i closed mah eyes den i heard a shot from da left

.........U scaring me this really happend to u?

shots fired..no pain...musta went past me
mah vision turned red..da look in his eyes was ghastly

I NEVER BEEN SHOT BEFORE BUT I LET U KNOW THEY FACE DO BE LOOKING LIKE A DEMON GOT IN IT IF THEY WILLING TO SQUEEZE U MAKING SENSE AND RHYMING WHICH IS MAKING THIS RAP HOT sorry for the caps 7.5.

she couldnt stop lookin at a picture frame
it was blank but it read..."mah son...slain"

maaaaaaaaaaaan thats scary as helll lol u scaring the fuck outta me if thsat was to happend ill be scared as fuck i swear i would i never would provoke noone to shoot me if it came down to it i mean it came down to it but nobody shot nuttin overall rating 7.5.

JR-One · 12-12-2006, 12:17 PM

^^ This Ho's Dumb.. ..

It Wasn't All That Good, But Keep Working On It.. ..

Also, When Doing Topicals And Having People Talk.. .. Make Them Realistic, Have Them Say Things Actual People Would Say.. .. Examples:

i said..."tell me...r winnin da race...
in search of money n clout"..he ran, revealin his pace

she couldnt stop lookin at a picture frame
it was blank but it read..."mah son...slain"
mah knees felt weak in da disbelief
she said "ya late...guess u wont live 2 speak"

^^ No One Talks Like That.. .. Unless They're Suffering From Down Syndrome.. ..

J~Souljah · 12-12-2006, 05:48 PM

well....da dudez character....is in deep thought....he juss was or envisioned himself bein a coffin afta his death...so i put him in a brief state of enlightenment...

nobody has eva said "ya late"

duke ya criticism is kinda off but thnx 4 da feed

J~Souljah · 12-13-2006, 05:19 PM

uppin......

12-09-2006, 06:19 PM	#1
J~Souljah Veteran Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Baltimore, Maryland Posts: 1,826 Repped: 11 Repped 97 Times in 67 Posts Neg Reps: 1 Neg Repped at 22 Times in 17 Posts	Lost One (Topical) Lost One (Topical) chea i'ma record dis ova da lost ones beat dis is mah 1st topical so chea....enjoy ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ i tried 2 run but he grabbed me instead i guess mah whole body made a perfect path 4 da lead as i endured da heat...niggas gathered n said "it's a shame...das wut he get tryna clap 4 da red" had 2 think it....couldnt even speak it "i aint even a blood...only bang it when i bleed it" as i'm bleedin...mah life is flashin it grew black...lookin at da inside of a casket a small gap between me gettin shot n mah death i closed mah eyes den i heard a shot from da left i'm thinkin retreat as i'm suddenly at mah feet background starts 2 fade...wuts vivid is da heat mah mind grew blank...fear nonexistant silently grinned n said wut u gon do wit it shots fired..no pain...musta went past me mah vision turned red..da look in his eyes was ghastly i said..."tell me...r winnin da race... in search of money n clout"..he ran, revealin his pace i walked home...think dat it was ova from me...mah moms recieved a tap on shoulda she couldnt stop lookin at a picture frame it was blank but it read..."mah son...slain" mah knees felt weak in da disbelief she said "ya late...guess u wont live 2 speak"

12-09-2006, 06:34 PM	#2
Yung_blaze Veteran Join Date: May 2006 Location: LONDON Posts: 5,070 Repped: 1,197 Repped 146 Times in 63 Posts Neg Reps: 7 Neg Repped at 5 Times in 4 Posts	im soz but wtf is topical? edit: good drop i did feel it __________________ Play with the best die like the rest G_UNIT_THUG: Props 50, you da real fif?

12-09-2006, 09:14 PM	#4
LethalIsILL Go play somewhere im busy Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: in the air i dont hear niggas corny raps Posts: 6,964 Repped: 138 Repped 1,010 Times in 217 Posts Neg Reps: 56 Neg Repped at 81 Times in 57 Posts	nice shit keep it up __________________ [12:55AM] sbrecords: ziz is there an ignore button for a member in the chatbox? [12:56AM] Mixtape Assassin: if there wuz one i wouldnt even have read your message just now lol

12-12-2006, 05:20 AM	#9
MiSs CaSsiDy QUEEN OF HORRORCORE RAP Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: HELL Posts: 1,263 Repped: 9 Repped 31 Times in 13 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	HE ON A ROLL NOW !! i tried 2 run but he grabbed me instead i guess mah whole body made a perfect path 4 da lead UH HUH I LIKE HOW U STARTED THIS REALISTICLY LIKE TELLING A STORY 6.5. a small gap between me gettin shot n mah death i closed mah eyes den i heard a shot from da left .........U scaring me this really happend to u? shots fired..no pain...musta went past me mah vision turned red..da look in his eyes was ghastly I NEVER BEEN SHOT BEFORE BUT I LET U KNOW THEY FACE DO BE LOOKING LIKE A DEMON GOT IN IT IF THEY WILLING TO SQUEEZE U MAKING SENSE AND RHYMING WHICH IS MAKING THIS RAP HOT sorry for the caps 7.5. she couldnt stop lookin at a picture frame it was blank but it read..."mah son...slain" maaaaaaaaaaaan thats scary as helll lol u scaring the fuck outta me if thsat was to happend ill be scared as fuck i swear i would i never would provoke noone to shoot me if it came down to it i mean it came down to it but nobody shot nuttin overall rating 7.5. __________________

12-12-2006, 12:17 PM	#10
JR-One Veteran Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Van-Kool-Vurr Posts: 1,021 Repped: 19 Repped 52 Times in 20 Posts Neg Reps: 1 Neg Repped at 1 Time in 1 Post	^^ This Ho's Dumb.. .. It Wasn't All That Good, But Keep Working On It.. .. Also, When Doing Topicals And Having People Talk.. .. Make Them Realistic, Have Them Say Things Actual People Would Say.. .. Examples: i said..."tell me...r winnin da race... in search of money n clout"..he ran, revealin his pace she couldnt stop lookin at a picture frame it was blank but it read..."mah son...slain" mah knees felt weak in da disbelief she said "ya late...guess u wont live 2 speak" ^^ No One Talks Like That.. .. Unless They're Suffering From Down Syndrome.. .. __________________ Cheers To Pacman23.. ..

12-09-2006, 06:53 PM	#3
Babe Truth Da Truth Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 2,912 Repped: 296 Repped 82 Times in 26 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	you are probably so good because u heard big L freestyle in person when u were younger MY DICK

12-10-2006, 12:03 AM	#5
Sniper Locs Banned Join Date: May 2006 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 2,574 Repped: 0 Repped 108 Times in 86 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	nice lines i like ur style dun

12-10-2006, 01:37 AM	#6
J~Souljah Veteran Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Baltimore, Maryland Posts: 1,826 Repped: 11 Repped 97 Times in 67 Posts Neg Reps: 1 Neg Repped at 22 Times in 17 Posts	thx...4 da feed n babe....battle me or stfu

12-10-2006, 02:34 AM	#7
LaWN NAiL Lonnel Join Date: May 2006 Location: chicago Posts: 3,199 Repped: 190 Repped 352 Times in 108 Posts Neg Reps: 16 Neg Repped at 85 Times in 33 Posts	straight verse..flowed well

12-10-2006, 02:29 PM	#8
J~Souljah Veteran Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Baltimore, Maryland Posts: 1,826 Repped: 11 Repped 97 Times in 67 Posts Neg Reps: 1 Neg Repped at 22 Times in 17 Posts	thnx uppin

12-12-2006, 05:48 PM	#11
J~Souljah Veteran Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Baltimore, Maryland Posts: 1,826 Repped: 11 Repped 97 Times in 67 Posts Neg Reps: 1 Neg Repped at 22 Times in 17 Posts	well....da dudez character....is in deep thought....he juss was or envisioned himself bein a coffin afta his death...so i put him in a brief state of enlightenment... nobody has eva said "ya late" duke ya criticism is kinda off but thnx 4 da feed

12-13-2006, 05:19 PM	#12
J~Souljah Veteran Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Baltimore, Maryland Posts: 1,826 Repped: 11 Repped 97 Times in 67 Posts Neg Reps: 1 Neg Repped at 22 Times in 17 Posts	uppin......

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