New Stuff(first time)

U Not Like Me · 12-07-2006, 09:49 PM

Whenever I think, drink, stink, wink
it goes on paper like writing ink
my lyrics aren't contestable
the lyrics are inexorable(and investible)
These words are so true they're probably digestable
My mind is a weapon of mass DESTRUCTION
That's why it needs such a big ass INTRODUCTION
Then I'll end your life-cause there's a Wanksta OVERPRODUCTION
Or I can hit your jewels and end that dream of sexual REPRODUCTION
Wondering who i am, keep guessing nobody know me
but i'll tell you i'm not like R.kelly with Obsession of pee
i'll just have you handin ovar your money and car keys
Cause Agaisnt me, nobody can perpetuate their existence
Cause my rhymes show you and me have no coexistence
To read all my rhymes you gonna need some caffeine
cause i'm crazy like the French King(bum) Louis XVI
But in public, i make not one scene
though, i've already banged too many(just for fun) preteens
Now read my rhymes and by all means
tell me if it's dope, wack, or in between.

ya, this is my first time doing this thing so can you tell me how it is...if it sucks badly just tell it to me straight, i want honest reviews..

U Not Like Me · 12-07-2006, 10:48 PM

uppin for feed

XxCritikalxX · 12-07-2006, 10:59 PM

ur crazey wit lyrics u just have to learn to put em together..i rap battle and street..u on that..physco shit..i can rap like that if i wanted too but i stick wit street..

U Not Like Me · 12-07-2006, 11:02 PM

ya, i have trouble puttin it all together, like i have lyrics to write i just can't mix them all together and flow with it, i gotta definetly work on that..

thanks for the comment

sofis2cated · 12-08-2006, 01:13 PM

that shit was cool! and like Prey said once you put them together a little better then shit gonna flow like water! keep it up

Shogun · 12-08-2006, 01:30 PM

The two dudes who already gave you feed don't know what they're talking about.

This was wack.

You need to learn to sound syllables out properly, as opposed to just seeing words or hearing the last syllable e.g. for 4 lines you essentially rhymed "-uction".

I won't even go into the poverty of thought either although that's something that afflicts pretty much everyone on this site.

U Not Like Me · 12-08-2006, 04:47 PM

thanks for the feed

Over_Flow · 12-08-2006, 05:05 PM

wackkkkkkk

Shogun · 12-08-2006, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bws786 AKA Lyrical Sniper

wackkkkkkk

You're not knowledgeable enough to form such an opinion & have it taken seriously, short stuff.

didaflam · 12-08-2006, 11:15 PM

it seems pretty good in general, but i agree with shogun, you can largely improve that freestyle

ThA ViiRu5 · 12-08-2006, 11:18 PM

yo son i liked the vocab you just need to get some of the basics down and start utilising them and once you have more experience it gets better trust me i was trash for like 3 years lol.

and dont nobody make any dumb jokes about how im still trash" *smh* kuz i KNOW someone was gonna put that

U Not Like Me · 12-08-2006, 11:29 PM

thanks for the feed, i'm gonna keep at it

12-07-2006, 09:49 PM	#1
U Not Like Me You Should Already Know Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Springfield, Massachusetts Posts: 293 Repped: 63 Repped 9 Times in 4 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	New Stuff(first time) New Stuff(first time) Whenever I think, drink, stink, wink it goes on paper like writing ink my lyrics aren't contestable the lyrics are inexorable(and investible) These words are so true they're probably digestable My mind is a weapon of mass DESTRUCTION That's why it needs such a big ass INTRODUCTION Then I'll end your life-cause there's a Wanksta OVERPRODUCTION Or I can hit your jewels and end that dream of sexual REPRODUCTION Wondering who i am, keep guessing nobody know me but i'll tell you i'm not like R.kelly with Obsession of pee i'll just have you handin ovar your money and car keys Cause Agaisnt me, nobody can perpetuate their existence Cause my rhymes show you and me have no coexistence To read all my rhymes you gonna need some caffeine cause i'm crazy like the French King(bum) Louis XVI But in public, i make not one scene though, i've already banged too many(just for fun) preteens Now read my rhymes and by all means tell me if it's dope, wack, or in between. ya, this is my first time doing this thing so can you tell me how it is...if it sucks badly just tell it to me straight, i want honest reviews..

12-08-2006, 11:18 PM	#11
ThA ViiRu5 ``Enlightened Emcee::.. Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: ................ Posts: 2,617 Repped: 525 Repped 179 Times in 104 Posts Neg Reps: 81 Neg Repped at 21 Times in 16 Posts	yo son i liked the vocab you just need to get some of the basics down and start utilising them and once you have more experience it gets better trust me i was trash for like 3 years lol. and dont nobody make any dumb jokes about how im still trash" smh kuz i KNOW someone was gonna put that __________________ "The only thing that comes to a sleeping man is dreams" ReCkoRd - [Victoriez]: 27 [Slipp Uppz]: 8 [KO]: 13 [TKO]: 1 ~~``!!...::Forever Undefeated::...!!``~~ HeAvYwEiGhT

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12-07-2006, 10:48 PM	#2
U Not Like Me You Should Already Know Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Springfield, Massachusetts Posts: 293 Repped: 63 Repped 9 Times in 4 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	uppin for feed

12-07-2006, 10:59 PM	#3
XxCritikalxX #1 Killah///Assasin Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 1,643 Repped: 4 Repped 25 Times in 20 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	ur crazey wit lyrics u just have to learn to put em together..i rap battle and street..u on that..physco shit..i can rap like that if i wanted too but i stick wit street..

12-07-2006, 11:02 PM	#4
U Not Like Me You Should Already Know Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Springfield, Massachusetts Posts: 293 Repped: 63 Repped 9 Times in 4 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	ya, i have trouble puttin it all together, like i have lyrics to write i just can't mix them all together and flow with it, i gotta definetly work on that.. thanks for the comment

12-08-2006, 01:13 PM	#5
sofis2cated California Lyricist Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Bakersfield, CA Posts: 762 Repped: 33 Repped 10 Times in 8 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 1 Time in 1 Post	that shit was cool! and like Prey said once you put them together a little better then shit gonna flow like water! keep it up

12-08-2006, 01:30 PM	#6
Shogun Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 718 Repped: 0 Repped 13 Times in 12 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 4 Times in 4 Posts	The two dudes who already gave you feed don't know what they're talking about. This was wack. You need to learn to sound syllables out properly, as opposed to just seeing words or hearing the last syllable e.g. for 4 lines you essentially rhymed "-uction". I won't even go into the poverty of thought either although that's something that afflicts pretty much everyone on this site.

12-08-2006, 04:47 PM	#7
U Not Like Me You Should Already Know Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Springfield, Massachusetts Posts: 293 Repped: 63 Repped 9 Times in 4 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	thanks for the feed

12-08-2006, 05:05 PM	#8
Over_Flow Banned Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Queens. NY Posts: 2,793 Repped: 525 Repped 939 Times in 277 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	wackkkkkkk

12-08-2006, 11:15 PM	#10
didaflam Join Date: May 2006 Location: Maryland Posts: 1,039 Repped: 754 Repped 48 Times in 13 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	it seems pretty good in general, but i agree with shogun, you can largely improve that freestyle

12-08-2006, 11:29 PM	#12
U Not Like Me You Should Already Know Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Springfield, Massachusetts Posts: 293 Repped: 63 Repped 9 Times in 4 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	thanks for the feed, i'm gonna keep at it