New Flow from my upcoming mixtape

Mez Siah · 10-21-2006, 10:47 PM

THe words that are the same color mean theyre part of the same rhyme> My First mixtape Young Man is coming soon

See your girl
You know ima steal her
Wit my rhymes and my swagger you know ima trill her
So much chinchilla
Call me a mammal like a camel
But unlike camelus the fast lane is what I travel
But nature is for the birds
That’s why I like it
Cuz I stay fly and feathered just like a tight fit
On a lil shorty
So SO thick she make me horny
I said leave ya nigga
Cuz hes so corny
She left and said What we do now
I replied Ill be real thorough
When you dressing down
Im so chill aka so burrow
I hit the spot at night
Nocturanl like an armadillo
She said It feels like I’ve been with you before
That’s because Im your boyfriends hero
Im his role model
He try to suck up to me like a coke bottle
I like my vhivks with bodies like Nelly Furtado
I say potato You say Potahtoh
I walk the straight line U just waddle
More rhymes then the greek Apollo
Im bout to cut you girl
Like My name was sleepy hollow

Leave sum feed so i can improve. No hating

Mez Siah · 10-21-2006, 11:28 PM

ne 1..come on

Tom Chambers · 10-21-2006, 11:38 PM

ok first off...
1) need to use multi's or vocab.......you got neither.....
2).....add some complexcity to your rhymes...there no/weak wordplay and punches in this.........
3)be creative......

if you using this on a mixtape...you ain't gone get far.....just work on adding some skill onto it.....

..Esco.. · 10-21-2006, 11:48 PM

After reading this... I don't think you should be making mixtapes...

10-21-2006, 10:47 PM	#1
Mez Siah Batman/EvaMendes Advocate Join Date: May 2006 Location: Baltimore Posts: 2,367 Repped: 216 Repped 541 Times in 262 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	New Flow from my upcoming mixtape New Flow from my upcoming mixtape THe words that are the same color mean theyre part of the same rhyme> My First mixtape Young Man is coming soon See your girl You know ima steal her Wit my rhymes and my swagger you know ima trill her So much chinchilla Call me a mammal like a camel But unlike camelus the fast lane is what I travel But nature is for the birds That’s why I like it Cuz I stay fly and feathered just like a tight fit On a lil shorty So SO thick she make me horny I said leave ya nigga Cuz hes so corny She left and said What we do now I replied Ill be real thorough When you dressing down Im so chill aka so burrow I hit the spot at night Nocturanl like an armadillo She said It feels like I’ve been with you before That’s because Im your boyfriends hero Im his role model He try to suck up to me like a coke bottle I like my vhivks with bodies like Nelly Furtado I say potato You say Potahtoh I walk the straight line U just waddle More rhymes then the greek Apollo Im bout to cut you girl Like My name was sleepy hollow Leave sum feed so i can improve. No hating

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10-21-2006, 11:28 PM	#2
Mez Siah Batman/EvaMendes Advocate Join Date: May 2006 Location: Baltimore Posts: 2,367 Repped: 216 Repped 541 Times in 262 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	ne 1..come on

10-21-2006, 11:38 PM	#3
Tom Chambers AkA Sur-Vis-U-All Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: pittsburgh Posts: 11,280 Repped: 132 Repped 477 Times in 296 Posts Neg Reps: 19 Neg Repped at 68 Times in 54 Posts	ok first off... 1) need to use multi's or vocab.......you got neither..... 2).....add some complexcity to your rhymes...there no/weak wordplay and punches in this......... 3)be creative...... if you using this on a mixtape...you ain't gone get far.....just work on adding some skill onto it.....

10-21-2006, 11:48 PM	#4
..Esco.. Banned Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 1,140 Repped: 2 Repped 99 Times in 19 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	After reading this... I don't think you should be making mixtapes...