I just Love

Raichu · 10-13-2006, 09:29 PM

I just love when a nigga acts up/
Just another reason 4 me 2 fuk 'em up/
U know what ups/
Ready 2 start 2 something so what gonna do chump/
Now look, I ain't no big dude nigga/
And I migh tthem with triggas/
But I got fists on me/
So what U gonna do homie/
Try 2 shoot me with Ur chrome homie/
Well that I wanna see homie/
And even if I lose the fight/
I'll be alright/
U still a bitch/
Still a snitch/
And it I don't get/
The hood will and they'll leave in a ditch.

B Dope · 10-13-2006, 10:39 PM

If ya combine some of your 3 and 4 words lines to make one it will have a good flow.
Add a punch and some multies in there too.

Nature's Prophecy · 10-14-2006, 08:19 AM

I aint gon lie... it was plain...

Its iight havin short lines, but urs are too short..
Up vocab....Nd try a diff flow...
Ive seen alot worse tho, so no hate, ya can easily improve..

Stay up...

10-13-2006, 09:29 PM	#1
Raichu Banned Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Yonkers Posts: 2,558 Repped: 435 Repped 91 Times in 49 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	I just Love I just Love I just love when a nigga acts up/ Just another reason 4 me 2 fuk 'em up/ U know what ups/ Ready 2 start 2 something so what gonna do chump/ Now look, I ain't no big dude nigga/ And I migh tthem with triggas/ But I got fists on me/ So what U gonna do homie/ Try 2 shoot me with Ur chrome homie/ Well that I wanna see homie/ And even if I lose the fight/ I'll be alright/ U still a bitch/ Still a snitch/ And it I don't get/ The hood will and they'll leave in a ditch.

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10-13-2006, 10:39 PM	#2
B Dope Banned Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,051 Repped: 638 Repped 375 Times in 112 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	If ya combine some of your 3 and 4 words lines to make one it will have a good flow. Add a punch and some multies in there too.

10-14-2006, 08:19 AM	#3
Nature's Prophecy Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 739 Repped: 11 Repped 12 Times in 9 Posts Neg Reps: 0 Neg Repped at 0 Times in 0 Posts	I aint gon lie... it was plain... Its iight havin short lines, but urs are too short.. Up vocab....Nd try a diff flow... Ive seen alot worse tho, so no hate, ya can easily improve.. Stay up...