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| Chat Talk about anything. Nothing specific, just talk. |
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#1 |
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Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Mars
Posts: 2,977
Repped: 1,032
Repped 823 Times in 371 Posts
Neg Reps: 412
Neg Repped at 329 Times in 269 Posts
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MOTHERFUCKING SHIT. I WAS JUST MASTURBATING AND EVERYTHING WAS GOING GREAT. I WAS IN MY ROOM, I HAD MY HEADPHONES ON, I WAS TOTALLY NAKED SITTING AT MY COMPUTER FAPPING AWAY TO A VIDEO ON REDTUBE. ALL OF A SUDDEN THERE'S THIS REALLY SHARP PAIN IN MY DICK, LIKE IT JUST GOT STABBED WITH A SEWING NEEDLE. I JERKED MY HAND BACK AND IT BUMPED INTO MY COMPUTER TOWER, WHICH SITS ON THE DESK. WELL, I HAD MY STICK OF DEODORANT ON TOP OF THE TOWER, AND THAT BITCH FELL OFF AND LANDED DEODORANT-END-DOWN ON THE HEAD OF MY COCK. HOLY FUCKING SHIT DID THAT HURT, AND ON TOP OF THAT IT HIT SO HARD THAT IT ACTUALLY FORCED SOME DEODORANT INTO MY URETHRA. I'VE NEVER HAD ANYTHING BURN SO BAD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. I JUMPED OUT OF MY FUCKING CHAIR AND STOOD UP BECAUSE IT HURT SO BAD; THIS CAUSED MY HEADPHONE CABLE TO GET YANKED OUT OF MY SPEAKERS, WHICH CAUSED "OH YEAH BABY COME DEEP IN MY TIGHT TEEN ASSHOLE UH UH UH" TO GET BLARED THROUGH MY FUCKING HOUSE AND ALMOST MAXIMUM VOLUME. NOW MY EYES ARE WATERING FROM THE PAIN OF THE DEODORANT INSIDE MY COCK BUT I MANAGE TO PUNCH ONE OF MY SPEAKERS HARD ENOUGH SO THEY TURN OFF. I LOOKED DOWN AND NOTICED BLOOD DRIPPING OFF OF MY COCK; I GUESS THE LIP OF THE PLASTIC DEODORANT THING BIT INTO MY SKIN AS IT CONNECTED WITH MY COCK. THE BLOOD WAS DRIPPING DOWN MY LEG. THIS ALL HAPPENED IN THE SPACE OF MAYBE 6 SECONDS. IT MAY SEEM BAD BUT IT GETS WORSE. JUST AS I'M STANDING THERE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED, MY BEDROOM DOOR FUCKING OPENS. MY DAD WAS STANDING THERE WITH MY ACCEPTANCE LETTER TO JOHNS HOPKINS. I FROZE AND HE STARED AT ME, NAKED WITH MY BLOODY ERECTION FOR MAYBE 15 SECONDS BEFORE HE NOTICED MY COMPUTER MONITOR AND THE BRUTAL ANAL SEX SCENE GOING ON FULL-SCREEN. HE IMMEDIATELY CLOSED THE DOOR AND LEFT WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING. THIS MAY SeEM EMBARRASSING BUT MY DAD IS A SERIOUSLY CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN. THIS HAPPENED ABOUT 15 MINUTES AGO AND HE HASN'T SAID ANYTHING TO ME YET. I'M STILL IN MY ROOM TRYING TO GET THE GOD DAMN FUCKING OLD SPICE OUT OF MY COCK.
Last edited by HJones; 07-05-2009 at 07:11 AM. |
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#2 |
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Banned
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Cali
Posts: 415
Repped: 65
Repped 157 Times in 70 Posts
Neg Reps: 51
Neg Repped at 254 Times in 135 Posts
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you realy expect people to read all that?? and even if they do.. you realy expect them to read past., "I was just masturbating" ??
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#3 |
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Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In Ya Bedroom Wit Da Nina, Where The Lube At? :ninja:
Posts: 8,188
Repped: 1,046
Repped 1,540 Times in 697 Posts
Neg Reps: 21
Neg Repped at 108 Times in 88 Posts
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| The Following 3 Users Repped to TeGo For This Useful Post: |
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#4 |
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Veteran
Join Date: May 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 2,605
Repped: 35
Repped 759 Times in 337 Posts
Neg Reps: 106
Neg Repped at 170 Times in 113 Posts
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We've all been there...
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This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook. ^^i tried that yesterday, didnt work out well -NuScOOl |
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#5 |
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iRun****HereUjustPostHere
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: WEST - LONDON, UK Posts: 2,630,716
Posts: 7,032
Repped: 2,763
Repped 3,542 Times in 915 Posts
Neg Reps: 53
Neg Repped at 94 Times in 78 Posts
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Congratz bro, enjoy your aids.
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![]() The consequences mean nothin', those semi auto's is bustin' Crack sellin', predicate felon...spit big words but I can't spell 'em.. Put a shot to your melon - that'll keep your punk ass from tellin'... |
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#6 |
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Banned
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: London
Posts: 1,780
Repped: 645
Repped 343 Times in 164 Posts
Neg Reps: 456
Neg Repped at 359 Times in 157 Posts
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hahaha lool
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#7 |
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◆ㅣㄴㄴㅆ∂┳┃¢◇
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: England.
Posts: 5,614
Repped: 1,861
Repped 820 Times in 351 Posts
Neg Reps: 102
Neg Repped at 71 Times in 56 Posts
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Damn...... iDunno what to say bro.
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#8 |
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UGH UGH UGH!
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: In Keri's Ass
Posts: 13,076
Repped: 4,856
Repped 2,927 Times in 1,020 Posts
Neg Reps: 670
Neg Repped at 576 Times in 330 Posts
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__________________
![]() "the great warriors on the battlegrounds cant achieve the same goals as the king on the throne" - Mazarati1986 |
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| The Following 3 Users Repped to Nikelz For This Useful Post: |
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#9 |
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Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 9,681
Repped: 525
Repped 263 Times in 138 Posts
Neg Reps: 25
Neg Repped at 16 Times in 14 Posts
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john hopkins! congratulations!
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#10 |
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Da Purple Pimp
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: I'm from N-E-W Jerz., where plenty murders occurz
Posts: 3,116
Repped: 685
Repped 366 Times in 232 Posts
Neg Reps: 49
Neg Repped at 75 Times in 74 Posts
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Couldn't of happened to a more deserving person........son of a bitch!
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I'm the M.B.P., Most Ballin-ist Player Make my own rules, bitch call me the mayor
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#11 |
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Stop Learned Helplessness
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 11,930
Repped: 6,016
Repped 1,247 Times in 440 Posts
Neg Reps: 53
Neg Repped at 36 Times in 31 Posts
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SICLMAO Fantastic D Hac You Havent Heard Of Lock Doors
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#12 |
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Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Tampa Florida
Posts: 2,437
Repped: 1,298
Repped 601 Times in 206 Posts
Neg Reps: 77
Neg Repped at 45 Times in 32 Posts
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hahaha wtf
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#13 |
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Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 2,292
Repped: 566
Repped 118 Times in 45 Posts
Neg Reps: 20
Neg Repped at 4 Times in 4 Posts
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lmfao im blowed great story
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#14 |
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Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Europe-$lovenia
Posts: 2,425
Repped: 468
Repped 402 Times in 206 Posts
Neg Reps: 21
Neg Repped at 31 Times in 23 Posts
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are u serious????
or high or u just being an asshole?? ![]() pick one
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#15 |
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Banned
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Providence
Posts: 3,548
Repped: 883
Repped 565 Times in 173 Posts
Neg Reps: 37
Neg Repped at 69 Times in 46 Posts
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I feel your pain bro but.........
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#16 |
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The One & Only.
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Poland
Posts: 7,565
Repped: 1,716
Repped 3,144 Times in 565 Posts
Neg Reps: 168
Neg Repped at 150 Times in 108 Posts
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LMFAO! that was the greatest story ever told, no doubt.
btw, you are screwed hahaha |
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#17 |
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Young F
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: South London
Posts: 3,794
Repped: 549
Repped 1,255 Times in 512 Posts
Neg Reps: 124
Neg Repped at 76 Times in 71 Posts
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Lmao man! No words.
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![]() Yet Untitled Album - Coming This Month! |
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#18 |
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Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Where Benz,BMW,Porsche..... from/Bremen City
Posts: 7,123
Repped: 2,371
Repped 1,289 Times in 315 Posts
Neg Reps: 7
Neg Repped at 36 Times in 27 Posts
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lmfaoooo, hahahahahaha
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A Girl Ask Me For A Ring And I Put One Around Her Whole Eye - Big L
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#19 |
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Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,387
Repped: 1,119
Repped 913 Times in 443 Posts
Neg Reps: 91
Neg Repped at 119 Times in 103 Posts
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i usually watch porn with 5.1 surround sound....
use a cotton swab and stick in in ur dick hole and twist it to get out the old spice and dam, it sounds like you didnt even bust ya walnut....wat a waste ps. pic or gtfo
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#20 |
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Super Moderatоr
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Yu Kay
Posts: 8,386
Repped: 3,017
Repped 939 Times in 260 Posts
Neg Reps: 17
Neg Repped at 22 Times in 17 Posts
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#21 |
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SyKo THAT GENIUS
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Crime Alley, Gotham City...
Posts: 4,245
Repped: 276
Repped 477 Times in 330 Posts
Neg Reps: 6
Neg Repped at 60 Times in 46 Posts
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hmmm...thats quite a predicament...
__________________
![]() All it takes is one bad day to drive an average, modest man irretrievably insane. |
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#22 |
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Cleveland Faithful
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 4,161
Repped: 1,047
Repped 925 Times in 410 Posts
Neg Reps: 28
Neg Repped at 52 Times in 41 Posts
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is there a cliff notes version
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#23 |
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 915
Repped: 26
Repped 150 Times in 100 Posts
Neg Reps: 2
Neg Repped at 8 Times in 8 Posts
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^
Hes 'claiming' he masturbated over some porn, got a sharp pain in his dick, jumped up knocking a deodorant or something in the process which ending up hittin his dick causing it to bleed and covering it in the deodorant at the same time. He screamed and his christian dad came in and seen him standing tall with a bloody erection. Now at that point its obvious bullshit because you wouldnt of kept an erection lol
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#24 |
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-Ŧħę Fяëşħ Pŕιиєê-
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Jerz Where We Tuck Heat And Love Shanks -Buddens
Posts: 7,891
Repped: 1,179
Repped 1,933 Times in 657 Posts
Neg Reps: 607
Neg Repped at 432 Times in 300 Posts
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^^^speaking in experience??
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![]() [06:29PM] LAKERS_520 sbrecords the type of nigga to take a picture of HHB's homepage and put it in his wallet |
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#25 |
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back by popular demand
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Probably With Ur Bitch
Posts: 338
Repped: 91
Repped 126 Times in 40 Posts
Neg Reps: 0
Neg Repped at 2 Times in 2 Posts
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girlfriend<<<<<<<<<<<get one
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